It’s hard to be alone, but there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Alone can be a good thing, at least sometimes, but lonely is another story. It can be depressing and difficult to see ahead to a future where you won’t always feel that way.
It’s a vicious circle really, because the lonelier one feels, the needier he or she tends to become, and neediness is not very attractive. The first thing to do is to make sure you include other people in your life and stay active, even if it means spending time with people that provide no opportunity for romantic interests.
Concentrate on making friends for now so you have someone to talk to, share coffee with, see a movie with, go shopping with, or invite over to eat with you occasionally. Such relationships can be a lot of fun and they often turn into very close friendships.
It’s also good to surround yourself with friends so you’ll have people around to advise you. You won’t be as tempted to jump into a relationship with the first person that comes along and you won’t be willing to settle for someone that isn’t right for you if you aren’t completely alone. You’ll also have people who care about you that will tell you if they think someone doesn’t have your best interest at heart.
Loneliness can be painful, but you are the only one that can do something about it. I know it’s much easier to say than it is to do, because I’ve been there myself. I spent a good deal of time being lonely before I met my husband. When I forced myself to stop sitting home alone being depressed, every area of my life improved. As I began enjoying myself with friends and taking better care of myself, I realized that I didn’t need someone else to complete me.
About a year later, I met my husband, but we were just friends. We met through mutual acquaintances and hung out together, neither of us ready for a relationship. We were friends for quite some time before we ever got together, but I wouldn’t have met him at all if I had still been sitting home alone all the time.
While you may not meet your future spouse, you may very well make some great new friends. You’ll also be more confident and better prepared if someone interesting does come along.
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