The absolute worst thing you can do is to make a single mom feel guilty when she starts dating again. Beginning the dating process is already hard enough for a single mother without everyone else’s opinions weighing down on her. You may think it is too soon, you may not like the person she’s dating, you may assume she’s not putting her child’s needs first but I guarantee that is far from the case. When a single mom starts dating again her number one priority is her children. In every decision she makes she is taking them into consideration. If she feels that it is detrimental to them she’s not going to pursue it. If she feels like he isn’t a good fit for her child she’ll end it.
As a single mom we are already so hard on ourselves. We are burdened with guilt because of the divorce, to throw the added guilt of people questioning our priorities on top of that is more than enough to weigh us down. Dating with children is complicated. It’s messy no matter what. There is always the risk that you and your children will get hurt. That is the nature of dating. Sometimes it doesn’t work out and you all go through that grieving process all over again. Of course we never go into anything expecting it to work out that way. If we could shield our children from all the pain associated with people coming in and out of their lives, we would. Is it hard to watch our children suffer because of that? Yes. But it is also an amazing experience to sit back and watch their relationships grow with people too. You can’t live your life hiding from the fact that things might not work out. Because in the end if you are going to find happiness again, you are going to have to take risks.
If you feel the need to share your opinion with a single mother about her dating again, do so in a non-threatening way. You don’t want to make the situation any harder on her than it already is. You don’t know what she is going through. It is an emotional and confusing time for her as it is. There is no need to add more onto her plate. Don’t try to make her feel guilty for trying again. Everyone deserves a second chance at happiness.
If you are a single mother, remember that your opinion is the one that matters most. Nobody knows you and your children better than you do. You are the judge. People are going to have their opinions, some you may agree with, others you may not. Trust yourself. You are the one that has to live with the decision, not them. Do what you think is right for you and your family. In the end, the only opinions that truly matter are that of you and your children. Hang in there, dating again isn’t easy. But it is an important step in moving on with your life. Do what you have to do to get where you want to be.