Being a single parent means having a few more challenges than having a spouse to help raise the kids. After all, as a single parent, you will now be playing the role of both mother and father. Your responsibilities will include being the breadwinner, being the disciplinarian, being the taxi driver, the nurse, the counselor, and team cheerleader, you name it, and you will have to do it. Even if you and your ex-spouse get along exceptionally well, the world as you once knew it changes.
To be a successful single parent, you will need to wear many hats and handle many emotions of your children such as excitement, fear, anger, hurt, pain, disappointment, elation, and so on. Nurturing your children will give them a great future, one built around self-confidence and determination. As the single parent, you want to bond with your children physically and emotionally, creating a lifelong bond of trust and support.
Your children will be watching and listening closely to you and the way in which you handle things. For instance, if you were to become angry with the phone company, the words you use to resolve the situation are going to be taken to heart by your children. Therefore, your children will be learning from you. This type of responsibility is a heavy burden to bear but also rewarding. To help your children get the best start to life possible, bond with them and teach them through example.
For starters, you need to be willing to be aware of your child’s pain. While that might sound strange, the truth is that sometimes, we know our children are hurting but because we are dealing with so much guilt about the divorce or death of a spouse, we pretend everything is fine. You cannot ignore your child’s pain. Remember, just because you or one of your children bounces back quickly, another child may have great difficult. Therefore, listen to your child and be aware of his or her pain.
You also want to make a conscious effort to be a good example. This may require some changes in the way you typically handle things but with discipline, you too can change for the better. Then, make sure you and your children have a good dialog going. One of the best times to talk is at the dinner table. In fact, studies show that families that share the dinner table have teenagers with an 85% less chance of committing suicide. Keep the conversations going, meaning you need to be a good advisor and listener to your child.
Finally, stand up for your child. What I mean about this is that too often, we stand up for the wrong person. Let your child know that you have his/her back and that you are there at all times to do whatever it takes to pull through the situation. You are healing yourself during this time just as your children are so instead of battling with each other learn to turn to each other. Building a strong bond with your children will make home life far more relaxing, productive, and healthy.
Why YOUR Behavior Matters to Your Child