I am sure that you have heard these phrases before…”That’s not the way Mommy does it” or “Daddy doesn’t do it like that”. For some of you who may be a little bit sensitive, this will give you a little “pinch” in your chest. I know that this is easier said than done, but try not to let it bother you. Whether you are a single parent or not, it is highly likely that this expression of honesty from your child will arise from their little, puckered up lips. It is not so bad when you are living in the same household, as their mother and father, but when you are divorced and not living together there is an aura of competition that surrounds you. Though you might not realize it or try to fight it, putting it out of your mind, it is there nonetheless.
When two people divorce and go their separate ways the children are shuffled between two different households. Naturally, because we all do things differently, the parent that the child is living with is going to have just the right “touch” for doing things for their child. The child is used to having it done the way that the parent he or she is most with. This does not mean that your child does not love you or dislikes the way that you do all things, but some things are just preferred due to habit.
Children generally speak their mind. They are innocent of some of the feelings that their honesty might provoke. Each parent is very special to their child. Your child may like the way that Mom cuts the crusts off of the sandwiches, but the way that you read him or her a bedtime story brings giggles and a “Daddy, you are so silly!” comment. Enjoy those moments. If your child does express something that the other parent does that he or she is accustomed to…go with it, if possible. Remember, do not make it a competition, but rather concentrate on raising a healthy, happy child who will have memories that are unique from each parent and will bring them joy.
Angel Lynn writes in weight loss, single parenting, and health