When I was young, I remember my mother saying eavesdroppers never hear well of themselves. The idea being that sometimes what we overhear is not want we want to hear at all. Maybe the same applies to snooping. I’m talking here specifically about snooping on your spouse.
It wasn’t what I’d planned to write about at all, but it’s come up a bit lately. Firstly, in a movie where the person snooped in their wife’s diary and found things he didn’t really want to find. Then in a book where the mother snooped in her daughter’s diary. I’ve read in the forums where now it’s easy to snoop on your spouse without detection. That we have such things and people feel we need them concerns me.
I’ve heard of others who snoop on their spouse’s computers and e-mails or go through wallets and pockets. The only time I go through Mick’s pockets is just before I wash to make sure there are no used tissues in there. I wouldn’t think of doing it any other time.
The interesting thing is, when people snoop on their spouse, they often find things they wish they hadn’t. To me it implies they must have had some reason to snoop, something that made them suspicious to begin with. I could write to anyone by e-mail and Mick would never know. Because he doesn’t snoop.
I could write anything about him in the marriage blogs. He knows that doesn’t happen either, because I tell him what I write. If it was in any way something I think he might not like, I’d check with him first, to make sure he’s okay with it. But that doesn’t happen often. There are some things in marriage that should stay private.
As for his computer, it wouldn’t occur to me to go and see who he’s been e-mailing or what sites he’s been into because there’s no need. Firstly, because I trust him and second because he tells me. Have you got the feeling we talk about what we’re both doing when we’re not together, which is much of the time anyway?
I’m not sure how well a marriage works where there is no basis of trust. I can’t even imagine being in a marriage like that. Maybe because I know as he does that trust is not likely to be abused, misused, or misplaced. I’d also be concerned about a marriage with little communication. What do you think about anything raised here? Would anything make you snoop on your spouse?
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