If you have tweens in your family the topic of staying home without adult supervision may be one you discuss frequently. This isn’t the case in my home (yet), but deciding whether or not to allow her 10-year-old daughter to fend for herself is a hot topic at my best friend’s house. My two cents worth was a firm “no,” and my BFF agreed, but her number one child won’t let the issue go.
In their case, the 10-year-old wants to be unsupervised in the afternoons during a 2-hour period between the time she gets dropped off by the school bus, and the moment her bank teller mother rolls in from picking up the baby from daycare. Currently, my BFF has a teenage “sitter” (see: girl from down the street) stay with her daughter until she gets home, but her daughter wants to fly solo.
So how do you decide when your child is old enough to stay home alone?
The following are answers from pediatricians, child psychologists and various other childcare “experts,” who have written entire books on the subject:
Most experts agree that a child under the age of 12 should not be left home alone. In fact, some states have laws in place that make it illegal to leave a child under the age of 12 home alone for any period of time. Before you promise your kid that he can fend for himself, it’s a good idea to check with local police agencies about laws regarding unsupervised children.
Before you cross the threshold into the world of no sitters, do a safety review of your home. Are your doors and windows in good shape? Do you have a burglar alarm or any other electronic security device installed? Once you’ve answered those questions ask yourself whether or not you live in a safe neighborhood? Do you get along well with your neighbors? Would they be willing to aid your child in an emergency? Does your child feel comfortable asking for help from others? In regards to location, determine if your home is located near places that attract questionable characters. Is your neighborhood a hotbed for gang activity? If so, leaving your child home alone may not be very wise.
Finally, evaluate your child. Is he or she responsible? Can you trust him to follow house rules? Is he disciplined enough to complete homework assignments without an adult badgering him to do so? Or, is he the type of child who spends the afternoon playing video games and raiding the potato chip cabinet? Make sure your child has good judgment and reasoning skills before leaving him alone.
How old was your child when you left him/her alone for the first time?
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