If you mention “children’s social life” to any parent of a child over the age or 8 or 9, you will likely get rolled eyes and looks of exasperation. Sure, we want our kids to have healthy and active social lives—but all that social drama can become overwhelming for a parent. We never know what sort of tears or new best friends might be coming around the corner…
As children enter adolescence, social relationships seem to take on a new dynamic. That is not to say that some of us do not have social butterflies from a much earlier age, but the serious drama seems to kick in around the middle school years and can affect both boys and girls. What can catch many parents off guard is how intense and consuming all the social drama can be. What can be scary is how hurt and life-altering some of the more painful experiences can be for our children. As parents, it can be incredibly difficult to know how involved we can be, what we can do to support and encourage and bolster our children, and when to step in and when to let them figure it out on their own.
With all the recent media and information about the different sorts of bullying that can be so damaging to the developing psyche of a young person—where we once might have rolled our eyes and gritted our teeth, we now might find ourselves very concerned and worried when our child is on the painful end of some major adolescent social drama.
While I plan to write more about different ways our children’s lives can be upended and consumed by social drama, the number one thing I think parents can do when these tough years start is to try to know who our children’s friends are. Know their parents and have an idea of what is going on. While we will probably never fully know what is going on, keeping one foot in our children’s social lives can be a good way of remaining on the fringes so we can step in when needed.
Also: Your Child’s First Clique
When Your Child Gets Caught in a “Friend Triangle”