Yesterday I talked about the dangers of the tongue in marriage relationships. All too often that is our spouse or family- the people we should be closest to that come in for the brunt of it. Surely this is a good reason then for us to learn to temper our tongues.
It might well be an interesting idea for a married couple to do a bible study together about the tongue and its effects. This might make us more prone to stop and think before we speak. The bible has a lot to say, in James 1:26, James3:6-10, and 1 Peter 3:10. If you look up tongue in a concordance you will find lots of other references and verses that will point you to related passages.
Another tip is to pray before you speak. Ask yourself will this help the situation and help resolve the issue or will it enflame the situation further?
Once the argument has been talked through and resolved, then you need to either say ‘I’m sorry,’ or you need to be ready to accept your spouse’s apology, without any reservations and without keeping score. It’s no good thinking, ‘But I said I was sorry last time. It’s his turn to apologize.’ Love doesn’t keep count of wrongs and tally them up. It forgives and forgets.
Sometimes the forgetting is the hard part. You might need to ask God’s help with that. Praying together after an argument is a good way of getting things back on an even keel and dissolving the hurts.
Physical contact and the act of love is another way of renewing the connection between you. But you both have to be ready for it and not one person forcing the issue on this. Otherwise it could lead to another argument. So be sensitive to each other’s needs, particularly in this area.
Tomorrow we’ll look at different ways of saying sorry.
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