With three kids, one mom, two-plus jobs, and a multitude of other daily realities, there is not a lot of my attention that is clear and focused. While my kids have gotten used to sharing me and dealing with the constant juggling, I have also had to learn that I HAVE to settle down and pay attention to them without the distractions. Sometimes it still hurts their feelings if the phone rings during an impromptu heart-to-heart and they don’t always want to “go along” with me while I run errands in order to talk with me. As single parents, we have to slow it down sometimes and remember to put our children first.
My kids do not realize that I am almost always thinking of them and their welfare. I do not imagine they will understand that until they have children of their own. Meanwhile, they have a tendency to assume that if I have even a smidge of my focus on something else or I am doing the single parent multi-tasking that I am not paying attention to them. They want and they deserve undivided attention. Of course, as they have gotten older and our family has grown increasingly complicated, carving out undivided time has become tough. I have even made the mistake of assuming that since they are busy adolescents that they don’t want that one-one-time or focused family time with me any more. Wrong! They do and it is up to me to make myself available and eliminate the distractions that could cause my time and energy to be divided.
So, even if our lives demands multi-tasking and making the most of what time we do have to get things done, we still need to find time to share our undivided attention with our children, and we need to do it as often as possible. Even if it SEEMS like they are alright with it or they are too busy to care if we are available for them or not, they do need and deserve our undivided focus.
Also: Each Child Needs Some of Your Undivided Attention Each Day