Some things, as a parent, you have no control over. One of them is who your child marries or falls in love with.
This was brought out last night in play called The Peach Season,by Debra Oswald, which has a lot to do with relationships. At one stage the mother of one man says to the audience, ‘ Who your child marries, you have no control over.’ She then goes on to talk a bit more and it is obvious she does not like her daughter in law or consider her good enough for her son.
Another relationship is that between two teenagers and the conflict that brings between the girl and her mother, as she chooses the young man, who she ends up running away with. It was so clearly based on real life.
So often we hear of in laws who do not get along. Parents who consider their child has made an unwise choice in marriage partner. But unless it is an arranged marriage there’s not a thing we can do about who our son or daughter marries.
Similarly as a wife or husband you may not be all that enamored of your in laws and it can make for difficult family dynamics.
It’s not helpful if your son or daughter always feels they are being pulled in two different directions between their spouse and parents. It’s not easy being married to someone either and knowing your spouse’s family doesn’t like you.
I know one man who always went and visited his mother every week and had dinner with her. His wife and their children stayed home. They decided though it was a better option than trying to get along together.
It doesn’t sound that good an option to me. It’s not an option Mick and I would have ever considered. What do you think? Is that preferable to everyone being uncomfortable in a situation where you try and keep the marriage partners and family together?
Join me tomorrow for more thoughts about marriage and getting along with in laws.
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