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Something You Should Know

We have three children that came to our family through adoption. All three children are siblings, they have the same biological mother but they all have different biological fathers. The biological mother is Caucasian and one of our sons has a father that is African American. With us being Caucasian we were not really sure about different skin and hair care issues that a child of an African American race we would encounter.

The first difference that we came to was when the Pediatrician told us he was “ashy”. What the heck is “ashy”? I had no clue, but I did not want to sound stupid so I said I would treat it. I had some friends that are of the same race and I brought my baby boy to them and said ok “What the heck is ashy?” When they stopped laughing they explained it just meant he had dry skin that gives him an ashy color. Well why didn’t the Doctor just say that he had dry skin?

When my bi-racial son came home to our family he had very little hair, his foster family kept it cut short. When it was short it was straight so I don’t know if I just thought his hair would have more of a Caucasian texture. When it started growing in I had no idea that I had to do something special to condition it, comb it or for that matter how often to wash it. With my hair I wash it every day so I kept that schedule for my kids. I did not know that African American people did not do that. I did not know I needed special conditioner for his hair, that I needed a special brush for his hair. There really needs to be a book or handout for people in my situation to get all this information.

Last thing for today, when I fill out forms requiring ethnicity there are no boxes for bi-racial so do I check Caucasian or African American? I wonder what the President checks?

This entry was posted in Blended Families (See Also Single Parenting Blog) and tagged , , by Tammy Woolard. Bookmark the permalink.

About Tammy Woolard

My name is Tammy and I am 40 year old mother of 3 wonderful children who came to us through domestic adoption. Although we did not have any fertility issues we chose adoption because there are so many kids that did not ask to be born but truly want a family to love. We did research on adoption choices and decided on domestic adoption through CPS. You would be surprised the differences between each agency. The adoption process is nothing like you see in the movies. I am also a 5 year breast cancer survivor. When I was diagnosed my kids were 3, 5 and 7 I did so much research I may have driven my Dr. a little crazy but that is ok it is my body not his.