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Sometimes I wish I Could Still Keep them Close

I was a baby-wearer—even though it was really just the beginning of the current “attachment parenting” movement when my children were babies nearly two decades ago, and I did not have a rebozo or other sort of wrap, I still carried my babies first in the “front pack” as I called it and then on my back for the first year or so of their lives. In fact, I quickly learned that with a newborn and young infant, wearing them was so much easier, kept them happier, and made it possible for me to tend to other children and duties and work. It just seemed to make good sense. Now that my children are nearly grown up, I confess there are days when I wish I could stick them in the back or front pack and keep them close!

There is something about always knowing where your child is and feeling your child close that one misses when the children get older. Even though we are quite appropriately attached and my children let me know what they are up to and we generally keep track of each other, it is not the same as knowing they are right there attached. I wonder if somewhere deeply buried in their teenage selves, there isn’t a tiny part of them that wishes they could still be cradled and carried and doted on in such a basic way once in a while.

We change, children grow up, and they do not make wearing and carrying devices adequate for keeping a teenager or young adult close and it would not be appropriate if they did—but, I’m still the same mother I was all those years ago and I cannot help but remember what a marvelous thing it was to move around and maneuver with a contented infant attached to me.