Parenting can be pretty serious business. Sometimes, we really just want our child to do what he or she is supposed to do simply because we’ve asked them to. Unfortunately, that isn’t how things normally go. Instead of ending up in an unproductive head butting contest or a power struggle, you might consider trying to make a game of things—and see if you can get things to turn your way…
I am not talking about cohersion or manipulation here, nor am I talking about compromising your parental authority—but so often, if we can make things a little playful and fun, we won’t end up in those power struggles that can be so prevalent in childhood. This is why rewards, charts, positive reinforcements, etc. can be so useful. Of course, you don’t have to offer prize items in order to have a useful game—just a little fun.
With my own three children, I had to learn how to come up with games that were not too competitive since competition is already inherent in the land of sibling rivalry. I learned how to devise games where we tried to “beat our own best score” or keep a running tally of our own results instead of pitting child against child. You might be amazed how creating a game out of the most mundane things—putting on socks and shoes, taking a bath, getting ready for bed, cleaning up the breakfast dishes, etc. can improve the process. Young kids just seem to be more responsive when they think there is a little play involved and less “have to.”
Of course, there will be an age when the child outgrows the “games.” They do eventually get to a point where they are onto your trickery and are not keen on playing along regardless. By then, though, you will be on to completely new and challenging parent-child struggles anyway!
Also: Why Kids Misbehave
Using Brain-Dead Phrases to Nip Power Struggles in the Bud