Remember when you were a kid and your parents asked you that proverbial parental question: “If everyone else jumped off a cliff would you jump too?” The point, of course, was that it should be okay to be different and march to one’s own drummer. However, sometimes being “the” single parent can make a person feel a bit out of place. AND, it can be tough on our kids too. What single parent hasn’t cringed over the “family tree” assignment of one of those days in school when the presence of two parents (or the non-present, non-involved parent) is requested? Sometimes, we single parents, along with our kids, have to cope with being and feeling “different.”
Even though I’ve had years to get used to it, I still don’t always feel completely comfortable in every situation as the “single mom.” For me, one issue is the very fact that I’ve been a single mom for several years and people will wonder aloud “what’s wrong with me” that I haven’t re-married or re-partnered. Additionally, when my kids make new friends, the parents need to “check me out” and they are often a bit wary/curious of the whole single parent scene. I can’t help but get excited when my kids make friends with another person from a single parent family! There’s the chance I won’t have to explain my status and my family.
Being different doesn’t have to mean anything negative—it’s really all in how we look at things and choose to cope. Plus, it gives us the opportunity model all sorts of character strengths, independence and self-confidence for our kids. Because if we have to deal with being the “odd parent out” sometimes, they too have to learn to cope with being just a little bit different—and if we handle things right, it can be a great character-builder for all of us!
Also: Boost Your Single Parent Confidence