I know that as parents we spend a lot of time trying to figure out the motivation behind all the things our children do. Are they ill? Going through a growth spurt? Is something bothering them? At least I seem to always try to find the motivation and the reason why my kids are behaving the way they are behaving. But, I have decided, after nearly twenty years that sometimes they really DON’T know why they are doing what they are—when they say that irritating “I don’t know”—they mean it!
I think sometimes my kids pick on each other and squabble just because—either because it is habit, or they are bored, or for reasons unknown to anyone in the room (or the house or the block for that matter). While there are certainly those times when the behavior choices can be traced back to some understandable reason, I think there are plenty of times when the inexactness and non-linear way of personalities takes over and they just do things. Just because.
Yes, siblings squabble and fight—sometimes they do it for attention and because they are jockeying for position in the family. But sometimes, I think that siblings fight—or neighborhood kids fight and argue—for no real reason at all, it just seems like the natural, perfect thing to do at the time and everyone just gets on with their lives without much thought to the why and the how of it.
As a parent, it can be tough to know when to jump in and mediate and when to just ignore things. But, I think it is a little reassuring to remind ourselves that there doesn’t always have to be an academic reason and often, squabbles just blow over without ever meaning anything. I definitely believe that sometimes, kids just fight and argue and nobody knows the real reason why!
See Also: Drama of Sibling Rivalry
What Are Your Biggest Parent-Child Battles?