I find with my children that sometimes they need very tangible things from me: they need me to cook for them or make sure the bills get paid or they need me to buy them new shoes or make sure they get to the dentist. Other times, however, what my children need from me is for me to simply be there, be available and be a witness to the trials, joys and realities of their lives.
I actually think that we all often just need someone to witness our lives. Perhaps that is what drives us to establish friendships, stay connected with family, and attempt to partner. We all need to know that there is someone else on this planet who knows who we are and cares about what we are going through regardless of how icky we fill or how much we stumble. Our children need us to provide a mirror or a reflection and show them that not only do we care and support them, but we also believe in them as unique individuals.
As parents, we can provide the acceptance our kids need and be that witness to the extraordinary and ordinary moments in their lives. They might not need our advice, our lectures, or our opinions about what is going on (even though that may be what we are inclined to want to offer)—they just need us to be there; open-minded and listening, observing what is happening and giving them the strength to know they can handle it. This is not always the most comfortable position for us parents to be in—after all, many of us feel better when we are doing something tangible or proactive. Often, however, just standing by and being a witness is the most loving and supportive thing we CAN do for our child or children.
See Also: Words of Encouragement
Support and Encouragement for Taking Chances