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Spanking: Sparing the Rod and Spoiling the Child

This is one of the most controversial topics out there and by request I’ve decided to brave it. I would like to first make note that I do not believe any good parent intends to place their child in harm’s way with discipline. I am not here to condone or condemn spanking, rather to share what I’ve come to learn based on what the Bible has to say on it.

One of the arguments I’ve heard against spanking is in reference to Proverbs 13:24:

  • “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.”

It’s been said that a shepherd would use his rod to guide his sheep, not beat them; therefore the message of this scripture is not to beat your children but to guide them. However, if we look ahead to Proverbs 23:13, we learn this isn’t the message of the Proverbs 13 scripture at all:

  • “Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell.”

This sounds very harsh I know. When we look up the Hebrew definition of “rod” (7626; Strong’s) from Proverbs 13, it means “shebet” a stick for punishing, writing, fighting, ruling, walking, etc. The word “beat” (5221; Strong’s) in Hebrew means “nakah” to strike lightly or severely. So, there shouldn’t be any question what the Bible is talking about in Proverbs in regard to physical discipline.

When we look at the context in which physical discipline was given we can see the purpose is ultimately to save the child from eternal death. I do not believe it was the writer’s intent to convey physical discipline should be administered to any or every offense. My reason for this is found in Ephesians 6:4:

  • “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”

Consider the loving way God deals with us. He is slow to anger; He disciplines us justly. He is full of mercy but One worth respecting. I believe as parents it’s our responsibility to discipline our children, teaching them the direction they should go. Our children are entrusted by the Lord in our care and I believe we will be held accountable for how we choose to raise them. As Proverbs 22:6 tells us:

  • “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Please visit these related blogs:

Creative Discipline

Discipline for Children

We Are Our Kids’ Role Models

California Considers a Ban on Spanking

Scripture references are quoted from the NKJV.