I know that not a one of us knows everything, and when it comes to parenting, we are especially not the big know-it-alls we might wish we were. But, when it comes to motivating and directing our children (as well as advocating for our children with others), we need to speak with authority whenever we can. Hemming, hawing and being undecided only invites others to question whether we know what we’re talking about or whether we mean what we say.
It is not unusual for even the best parents to feel insecure. After all, most of us are steering without a paddle, or parenting without a guidebook. No matter how much advice we solicit or how many experts we read, we are still operating in the moment and trying to make the best decisions on the fly. We do not have to let others see how insecure we are feeling, however. The thing is, you can always apologize or change your mind if you make a mistake, but in the moment, having some power in your voice and speaking with authority will force your children and others to take you seriously and realize that you not only mean business, but also that you are in control of your family situation.
This can be tough! If you are not sure how you want to respond to a question or issue your child has brought up, take a minute and think it through. It is all right to delay judgment until you are sure. In fact, I think it is far better to delay judgment until you can say exactly what you mean and feel convinced of your decision than it is to waffle and go back and forth. Our kids learn quickly to take advantage of these situations or they learn that we cannot be counted on to make a decisive declaration.
If you have to take time to do some research before speaking with your child (or another) than it is better to do this and know what you are talking about, than to pretend that you are educated and knowledgeable and then have the other person point out your deficiencies. Again, I am not advocating being a know-it-all, but it is important for us to maintain some credibility and speak with authority as parents.
See Also the PARENTING Blog