Taking children to church can be… an interesting experience. Between the fussiness and the random shout outs, parents of small children often have to try to calm down their children while suffering the evil eye from other church goers. For parents of children with special needs, church may not even be on their list of possible places to go.
One reason church may be off limits to a family of a child with a special need is the lack of accessibility. Church pews weren’t exactly designed for wheelchairs or ease of access. But even if your church is accessible, the other patrons may not seem all that welcoming. Not really the spirit of what church is about, I know, but true none the less. So if you are one of those parents who wants to attend church but fears the inevitable meltdown and complete service disruption by your child, here are some ideas on how to make church a part of your lives.
1 Set realistic goals for your child. If your child hasn’t attended church before, it will be especially difficult for him to suddenly “get it” and remain quiet. Start with small steps. Go for 10-20 minutes or until your child has had enough. Over the following weeks add a few more minutes to each visit. Over time, your child will become use to the routine of church and although there will be moments of chaos, church may become enjoyable to you again.
2 Be prepared. If there are items at home that comfort your child than bring them. Who cares if these items get you looks of confusion from other people. Either way, you’re going to get looks, at least this way your child will be calm. Bring any items of distraction as well like crayons and coloring books.
3 Reward your child for good behavior, but not for bad. Bring favorite snacks to give to him after a few minutes of good behavior, but don’t threaten to leave if he misbehaves since that’s probably what he wants anyway.
4 Talk to your minister about including your child and other children as well. If your church doesn’t already have a special section set aside for children, try creating one. There is often space available for a children’s worship where volunteers lead the children through an easy to follow version of the service. This makes it possible for parents to enjoy church once again.
5 Ignore the glares and evil eyes that people send you. If there is any place in the world where your child should be accepted, it is at church. Jesus himself said, “Let the children come unto me” and you can be sure he meant all children, including your disruptive one.