What do you think about past lives? Do you believe in them? Do you ever wonder if you lived one and who you were or what you did?
Once upon another blog, I half-joked that I thought I’d been a mommy to a gaggle of kids in my past lives and that’s why I don’t want kids now. Wayne used to laugh when I suggested such a thing, but not anymore.
Civil War Unease
This past weekend we decided to do something we’ve been doing more and more lately: take a little road trip. We set our sites on Stones River National Battlefield.
After stopping at Tour Stop 5 because we didn’t know what we were doing and it was the first thing we came across, we headed on to the Visitor’s Center. But what came into view before that was the cemetery. A very large Civil War cemetery.
“A lot of men died here,” Wayne said, more to himself than me.
“You okay?” I asked, because he sounded far more sad than I would have expected.
“I don’t know why, but this stuff really gets to me. I wasn’t expecting that cemetery.”
“Do you not want to see this anymore?”
“No, it’s not that. Forget it. It’s nothing.”
The Battle at Stones River
We learned that the Battle at Stones River was both a crucial one to the Union victory and a bloody one. Wayne wasn’t kidding when he prophesized that a lot of men had died there. All together, both sides lost 24,000 men.
As we set out to explore the various areas of the battleground, in places with ominous sounding names like the Slaughter Pen and Hell’s Half Acre, Wayne’s unease grew.
“You okay?” I asked.
“I don’t know what it is. I just feel very sad and disturbed when we see Civil War sites.”
“You acted this way at Carnton too.”
Another Civil War Experience
Carnton Plantation is another Civil War site not far from us. When we visited there, he got really upset about a wedding setup that was going on.
“How disrespectful!” he’d said. “Don’t they know how many men suffered and died here?”
We’d just learned about it ourselves, so I was surprised to see him so upset about it or invested in it.
“I think I must have fought back then or something. I normally don’t get upset like this.”
Normally? He normally doesn’t get upset about much, and he sure as heck never would say something like he thought he’d lived in some other time.
I chalked that up to a fluke…until this past Saturday when he reacted the same way all over again. (Sans being upset. No weddings were going to be held at Stones River or maybe he would have gotten mad.)
Becoming a Past Life Believer?
As we exited the rocky outcroppings that compromised the zone termed the Slaughter Pen, Wayne pulled me close and kissed the top of my head.
“It’s so weird this feeling I get. At Carnton I just figured it was me being grouchy. That place threw me off too.
“But walking around these woods, I again get a sense I’ve been here before. Maybe not here, but I feel…something. I can’t explain it. Other than to think maybe you’re right. Maybe there is such a thing as past lives and I fought during the Civil War in one of my past ones. All I know is this one’s a whole lot better. And more peaceful.”
For some of us. With Veteran’s Day looming tomorrow, I can’t help but think of the men and women serving in our military now, and in years past, who haven’t known peace. Who have experienced the horrors of war.
I hope if there are past lives, I hope their next ones are more peaceful too.
Courtney Mroch writes about animals great and small in Pets and the harmony and strife that encompasses married life in Marriage. For a full listing of her articles click here.
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