When I was growing up, my mother used to refer to one particular mood or behavior as “spreading hate and discontent”—it usually referred to a crabby person who was just going around causing grief, grumbling, and picking arguments with other family members. I still think of that phrase on days when someone in my family is so crabby it is spilling over onto everyone else. BUT, there are also those times when peace and calm can get spread around too…
Of course, I am definitely lumping myself in with those family members who have the ability to spread calm or chaos. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly one incredibly crabby person can infect a whole family hive AND it also never ceases to amaze me how one person with a sense of humor and a calm disposition can combat some of the ordinary crabbiness and short tempers that can play out in the midst of family life.
Breathe, shift gears, channel some calmness and kindness the next time you feel the tension rising in your family scene. For us, there are times of the day when things are most likely to get chaotic—in the mornings when we are all trying to get out the door and in the evening right before dinner time. I’ve learned that if I make myself available and put out some snacks in the evening while I’m making dinner, my kids will congregate and munch, telling about their days and then by the time dinner is ready we are generally feeling relaxed and de-stressed. If I don’t take that time to create some calm, however, and we have to go from one thing to the next, things can get explosive!
So, while you may not be able to control what your kids do or what sort of moods and behaviors come through the door, you can make personal decisions about whether or not you want to spread calmness or chaos…
Also: The Good and Bad of “It Runs in the Family”
Keep Personal Experience in Perspective
Letting Our Kids Be Different From Us