The first stage of marriage is a hard act to follow. It sets up such a perfect world for couples that they do not know how to handle the second stage that they will enter. It can lead couples to great disappointment in their marriage. If stuck there too long, the second stage can often head couples in the direction of divorce.
Thankfully, there is a third stage. The third stage is the process of realizing that your relationship or marriage needs work. It is the realization that you are not headed in the direction that you both desire. It is when you realize that your marriage is worth the work that it may take to advance to the next stages.
In this stage, partners begin to focus on themselves instead of blaming each other. They begin to think about what they can do to help the relationship grow. They begin to look at the things that they are doing to hinder the relationship. They quit resenting each other.
This may be the stage when outside advice is sought. Couples may talk with successful couples that they know. They may set up an appointment with a marriage counselor. They may be able to change things on their own.
No matter what is decided, couples in this stage are under reconstruction. They are rebuilding what they have and creating it stronger than before.
This is the stage when new connections are made and new bonds are created. Outsiders are no longer appealing. The couple feels that a new light has been shed on their relationship and while all of the troubles are not gone, a new happiness has entered.
One or both of the partners may still feel nervous, afraid, or a bit resentful toward future changes. However, the couple has committed to making things work for them.
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