Sometimes, a newly divorced person or someone who has lost a spouse will move to a new city. When kids are involved, moving to a new city can be exciting and adventurous but it also means making new friends, going to a new school, starting at a new church, and moving into a new home. The bottom line is that today, every year, one out of five families in the United States move. As the single mom or dad, your responsibility now becomes making the move as seamless as possible.
The number one mistake parents make when moving with the kids is to assume the children will not care. The truth is that kids do care. After all, moving greatly affects their lives. In addition to now being in a single-parent home, they have a number of other significant changes. Therefore, the best solution is to keep the kids involved with decisions. Sure, they would not make a final decision on a home but get their input about the home, the neighborhood, school district, and so on.
For the younger preschool age children, the biggest fear is them feeling they will be left behind when the move takes place. As an adult, we know that makes no sense but to a child under the age of six, this fear is very real. Start by reassuring your child that he/she will be moving with you, not being left. Sit down and listen to any fears or concerns your child may have, addressing each appropriately. You can even have your younger child help by packing boxes or coloring pictures on them for the contents.
Now, for children from age six to twelve, the greatest issue is relating to the way in which life will change overall. If you chose a home without the kids around, take a video camera with you so when you return home, you can show the children the new home, backyard, bedrooms, kitchen, and any exciting features of the home such as a fireplace or swimming pool. Then, let your children know that once you get settled in, they can choose something special they are interested in to help them feel more at home such as dance, baseball, volleyball, and so on. This will provide an excellent opportunity for your children to make new friends.
Next, you have the teenagers who are most concerned about fitting in. At this time of life, teenagers feel they have lost some control, leaving behind familiar things and people, which is hard. Again, work with your children to let them know you will do anything to make the adjustment easy. You can help your child find a job, get involved with sports, or some other type of activity. In addition, take some time to make sure your children head off to the new school looking and feeling good. Even if you have to splurge a little on a new hairdo or cut, and new clothes, it will offer them a boost much needed at this time.
Living Through the Stress of Moving