I think I know my children pretty darn well. As a matter of fact, I do not think it is bragging to confess that sometimes I know what they are doing (and why) before they do. But, the truth is, I certainly do not know it all and by remaining open to new information and new insight, I can adjust as my children grow and change.
There is something to be said for personality, but none of us stays the same. Part of me would love it if my children would stay put for a while—especially after I work so hard to figure them out. But, they do not. As long as I think I know all there is to know about any one of my children, I am closing myself off to getting fresh ideas and new insight as they morph and change.
By assuming that my kids are doing something for one reason because they ALWAYS are motivated by the same things, I’m not changing with the times. I have been amazed at how much I continue to learn about my children just by reminding myself that they are changing and evolving just as I am. Plus, on some levels it displays a lack of trust in the whole growing up process if I do not expect my children will learn from past problems and experiences and make new choices and decisions based on all this learned experience. As one of my children reminded me lately: “I do not do that any more, Mom, I’m not a baby.”
Staying open to new ideas and inviting new insight as to the reasons and motivations for our children’s behaviors can help us to evolve right along with them—and to be better able to provide guidance, discipline and support.
Also: There’s Nothing Like a Child to Remind You That You Don’t Know it All