So much of parenting—like so much of the rest of life—comes down to balance. Not only do we try to balance work and family, personal needs and other responsibilities, and quality versus quantity time with our children, we are also called upon to learn and adjust our parenting for various phases and developmental stages as our children grow. Finding a way to stay close and attached, and still allow our children the room and space to venture out on their own can be a huge parenting challenge.
I can’t help thinking back to when each of my children was learning to walk. There came a time when they insisted on doing things all by themselves, but I needed to stay nearby for safety and reassurance. Gradually (not gradually enough for my taste!), they got bolder and bolder until they didn’t even want me to help if they stumbled or fell down. Each one of my children was different and went about walking—as well as everything else—in his or her own ways, but they all needed me to stay close by, but not interfere. As we parents know, that is much easier said than done!
As flawed, ordinary human beings, we parents are far from perfect. Sometimes we will interfere when we should have stayed out of things, and other times we might not be available when we are truly needed. But, as we take our cues from our children, we can learn a healthy balance of staying close and keeping a distance to allow room for trial and error too. I hope that over all this time, my kids don’t think of me as too much of an interference, but that they also know that I am always nearby, always available for those times when they really do need me.
See Also: Parenting is a Roller-Coaster Ride