As my oldest son approaches twelve the subject of staying home alone is one that we revisit frequently. How do you know when your child is ready to stay home alone?
Knowing your child well is the key to judging his or her ability to stay home alone. One of the biggest mistakes parents make is using an arbitrary age to determine their child’s ability to stay home alone. Some states set age minimum that a child must reach before they are allowed, by law, to stay home by themselves. Some parents misinterpret this to mean that their child is ready to stay home because they have reached the legal age in their state. This is often not the case as a child’s individual personality, responsibility level and experiences will have far more to do with the ability to stay home alone than a date on the calendar! Regardless, you might find it surprising that experts believe children should be at least 12 years of age before staying home alone and at least 15 years of age before staying home with siblings!
This questionnaire will help you decide if your child is ready:
* Can your child recite his phone number and address? If you have recently moved, even if your child previously stayed home alone, supervision is necessary until these basics are mastered.
* Has your child demonstrated the ability to get in contact with you? For instance, when your child is at a friend’s house, has he been able to reach you by phone, cell phone, pager or other means when necessary? Either memorizing or having easy access to these important numbers and knowing how and when to use them is crucial.
*Does your child handle daily responsibilities without the need for supervision? Can you trust your child to do his homework, make his bed, clean the cat liter box, etc? If not, it is not yet safe to assume you can trust your child with a house key!
* Does your child know how to handle various emergencies that might crop up? Ask your child what he would do if the house caught on fire. What would he do if the household pet started crying in pain? Run through a variety of scenarios that might happen within your home or neighborhood and make sure to keep emergency contact information centrally located so that all family members have easy access at any given time.
* Does your child know and understand the family rules? What happens if the phone rings? What about the doorbell? If your child is hungry, may she eat? May she cook? What are the limits on usage of the oven or stove? May your child have friends over or go over to friends’ houses while you are away? How often must he check in? What responsibilities will you expect be carried out while you are away?
* Can you trust your child to follow your family rules? When she is at a friend’s house, does she often break rules because you are not around to enforce them? If so, she is likely not going to follow family rules when you aren’t home either. This could put her or your home in serious danger and is a clear signal that your child is not yet mature or responsible enough to stay home alone.