With toddlers and preschoolers, parents generally seem pretty clear on the concept that if their child is invited to a birthday party, they are supposed to stay with the child to help and supervise. But, what about elementary-aged children? How old does a child need to be before a parent stops going along? Can a parent go even if other parents don’t and how old is too old to have mom or dad tagging along?
I know that some of you would like hard and fast rules, or at least a page from Emily Post offering the suggested age range and expectations for parents and children and parties—but it will depend on several factors—your child’s individual temperament, the expectations of your peer and/or social group, and your own comfort level just to name a few.
I do believe that children under school age should have a parental escort to birthday and other sorts of parties. Keep in mind that the host and/or hostess are there to put on the party and supervise their own children—taking preschoolers to the bathroom, dealing with individual temperaments, etc. can be consuming and best left to a parent or guardian of each child. When a child gets to be 6, 7, or 8, however, it may become a little cloudier for the parent as to whether to tag along or not.
How well do you know the host and/or hostess? Is it next door or across town? How many children will be there and how many adults? What sort of activities will be provided? If you do your homework in advance it can help you make a more appropriate decision. When my children were younger, I figured when in doubt, I should go along. At least for the early part—I could always leave for a while after the party got going and I assessed the situation. It is a good transition for the older youngster—to attend for the first 20 minutes or so—especially if it is with an unfamiliar child and/or parents, and then leave and come back a little early. I don’t think children should be expected to be “on their own” for the entire time at a party until they are in the middle to upper-elementary school ages. And, still, a parent will want to do his or her homework to make sure that you know the hosts, understand the event, and have the timing issues down.
See Also: the FUN Blog