As a single mother one thing I’ve dreaded is when my ex husband would get remarried. Not because I carried if he was married or not but because of what it would mean to Hailey.
I am Hailey’s mom, I want to make the rules, I want to be the one she confides in, I don’t want some stranger disciplining my child. For all single mothers, one day this become a reality.
The evil stepmother enters the picture. Cue creepy music and it just gets worse from there. How do you deal with this and how do you help your child deal with this?
Remember, she is just a woman, not some evil witch intent on stealing your child’s love. Also remember that your attitude about this new person will affect your child’s attitude and the way she reacts to this person. So be kind, don’t say anything about her that you wouldn’t want your child to repeat because while she may not repeat it, she will remember it.
Try to look on the bright side, now you have an ally of sorts. If you ex husband has been Disneyland dad since the divorce his new wife is going to settle him down, she will have to if there are other children or bills to pay. Your child may not be happy about this but you won’t have to feel so bad that your ex gets to do all the fun stuff with the kids.
Realize that she is going to be a big part of your child’s life so the better the two of you get along, the better it will be for your child. Appreciate how hard it is to parent someone else’s child whether for a weekend or the summer, it’s not an easy job. How many times in one day would you want to hear, that’s not how my mom does it.
Let her know that you appreciate how good she is to your child. If you struggle communicating with your ex husband his new wife may create a buffer. Make sure you let her in, if your child has a school program, let her know, likewise if your toddler has suddenly become afraid of the dark, let her know so she can be prepared at bedtime.
When everyone works together the kids do better, and if you can do this from the time they are young, they will not be able to play all of you against each other. Won’t it be nice to have an extra pair of eyes watching your teenager?