As single mother’s we are always given advice, a list of things to do to make sure our children grow up to be well adjusted adults. While this is helpful, most of the time, you have to take what works for you and discard the rest, a list of what not to do is just as important.
One of the big things I learned quickly is not to give in. In the beginning it was so easy to give in to Hailey, I felt guilty and was trying to make things easier on her. After a while I had to start sticking to my guns about some things but inevitably there would come that day that I would give in.
You know the day, it starts when you oversleep, can’t find your daughter’s shoes, forget her lunch money, get yelled at by the boss and just goes on and on. By the time you get home from work you are exhausted and your child starts whining for something they can’t have, like cookies before dinner.
For a while you say no, the whining continues, you refuse, the whining continues and continues until it wears you down and you give in. Usually with a warning that this is the last time and if she behaves like that again, she will be in big trouble.
It may be easier sometimes to give in but you have reinforced the whining habit. Your child now knows that if she whines loud enough and long enough you will give in. It may not work for her every time but the times is does, it’s worth it.
While it is very hard not to give in, you can’t. If you make a decision or establish a family rule you need to stick to it, every time. Otherwise it will get more and more difficult to parent your child.
It may only be cookies before dinner now but one day it will be curfews and school attendance and boys. Establish your authority now and you will have fewer battles later.