I am always talking about the necessity of learning to let go as our children get older. It’s funny how some things are easier to let go of than others.
Take my 18-year-old son, who is beginning to get impatient that a job in the Air Force hasn’t opened up yet. In case you are curious how this all works, after enlisting and being sworn in the first time (there is a more official time you are sworn in, right before you leave), you apply for a job.
The job you get will determine the technical school you go to after you graduate from basic training. It’s important to pick a job you will want to do, especially if you enlist for six years, as my son has done.
It was recommended that he submit 10 jobs. He only applied for six. Some jobs are harder than others to get…like the ones my son has applied for. This doesn’t mean they are impossible but they may take a lot longer for an opening.
Since we are still waiting for a job to open, his recruiter suggested he look again at the list of jobs and try to send in at least two more. Well my son ends up hooked on a particular one, battlefield airmen – combat control.
These are the men who engage in combat. Definitely not something I would pick.
We have been locking horns on this for a week now. I have been totally against it. But as he keeps trying to remind me, this is his life. The reality is that my thought has been, “But it affects my life.”
Isn’t it enough for me to deal with, that he is leaving for the military? Must I now cheer him on in a position where he could end up engaged in ground combat?
For several days we have been “discussing” this, leaving both of us frustrated in the end. Then last night the realization hit me. I have to let him go.
So this morning I gave him a hug and told him that I will support him no matter what. If he really wants to submit the job, we will talk to his recruiter.
Of course…it doesn’t necessarily mean he will get it…so I still have hope.
The truth is that not only do I have to learn to let go, but I have to learn to trust. I happen to believe that God will direct his steps…so if this is the way he is to go, I have to let it happen.
Easy? No. But it’s the unfortunate reality of being a parent and as I have come to realize, I guess I’m still learning to let go.
What do you find difficult to let go?
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Photo by soldiersmediacen in Flickr