How many times have parents heard these very words? Whether it is the boy teasing, the girl or the other way around, you can be sure that at some time during your years of parenting, you will be in a situation of dealing with teasing. Perhaps one of your children has come into the house crying that a neighborhood kid is teasing them. It is all a part of growing up.
Playing referee can be exasperating. Parents feel as though they are constantly pulled into the situation to play mediator. You want to support your child and make them feel better but at the same time, you question if your child is being far too sensitive or instigating the problem. The normal reaction is to get frustrated with your children and scold them or talk to the neighborhood bully.
There is a distinct difference between the teaser and the child teasing. The child being teased needs to be taught ways to cope with the situation while the child doing the teasing needs to learn that teasing is mean and hurtful. To help you handle teasing in a productive way and help build your child’s level of confidence here are some great tips:
First, teasing is a normal process for every child, although at different levels of intensity. For this reason, coming down hard on your child as though they are doing something no other child has ever done before is not a good idea. Make sure your child understands that although he or she may find teasing a fun form of entertainment, that this upsets many people and must stop.
Be firm and let the child you are serious. For the child being teased, explain to them that by reacting to the teasing by crying, yelling back, or paying attention of any kind, they are adding fuel to the fire. Encourage them to simply turn around and walk away. Make sure your child knows that if the teasing, whether from a sibling or neighborhood bully, if at any point it escalates to hitting, kicking, or biting, that at that time, you will step in.
This type of behavior is never acceptable. Get both sides of the story before taking any action. You do not want to encourage your child to play the martyr. Also, educate your child that when they pick on another child, it affects people all around, not just the child being picked on. The entire family is disrupted. If you have a child who is being teased, it could be that they do not have a very good sense of confidence.
You have a number of great options to help a child grow out of the teasing phase. First, martial arts classes are a great way for a child to gain confidence. They will be taught self-defense and ways of respecting people and things. Although they may never use these newfound skills, just knowing they possess them could be enough to help them handle a teasing situation.
Martial arts are also a great option for the child doing the teasing. When a child teases, it is often due to a lack of self-confidence as well, which they can learn. This is just one example of the many things you can do to help both situations. There are many others such as baseball, soccer, or volleyball. Sports are great options in that they teach teamwork, patience, and skill.