Stubbornness is a quality that can be detrimental in a marriage when each person sticks rigidly to their point of view, always insisting they are right. But stubbornness can also be an asset in marriage. The positive aspect of stubbornness is simply known by other name- an alias if you like. It’s called determination.
As you all know I’m a writer and writers know a lot about stubbornness. They have too or they will not survive. They have to be stubborn to battle the odds just to get published, to get rejections and criticisms and changes in the publishing industry and not give up but to keep on writing and sending work out. That’s the sort of stubbornness we need in marriage too, because the truth is marriage isn’t always going to go along easy.
Yes. It’s wonderful to share good times and fun and laughter with the one you love, but it won’t always be like that. There will be times when it is hard, when you might seem as cross purposes, where one person in the marriage seems to be doing all the giving or all the household jobs. There will be times when things outside your control will affect your marriage – things like the current economic situation, illness and accident, family crises, problems with in laws and extended family. At times like these it pays to be stubborn – to hang on for deal life to your marriage.
Writers know all about the piece of writing that doesn’t seem to work and they have to go back and start all over again. That’s not such a bad thing to do with our marriages – to go back to basics, to look at what we have that is good and work on making it even better. Alternatively, if you’re thinking nothing in your marriage looks good at the moment then think about how you can make it better.
When we have something special, like an heirloom or a special piece of jewelry we do all we can to protect it. Isn’t our marriage worth the same attention and care?
Maybe you need some together time where you can sit down as a couple and talk through what is happening and how best you can fix it. Maybe you could organize a weekend away or a night at home but without the children, so you can focus on time as a couple.
Whatever the problems are affecting your marriage sometimes it just means hanging on and weathering the storm till things improve again. That’s where stubbornness comes in.
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