There is a wide variety of parenting styles to choose from. Ultimately, each parent is going to select one that they feel works best for them. It is worth considering that not every parenting style is a healthy choice for children. A study found that intrusive parenting can be harmful to children.
The study was titled “Developmental Trajectories of Maladaptive Perfectionism in Middle School Children”. It was led by Ryan Y. Hong, and was published in the Journal of Personality.
The researchers focuses on a sample size of 263 of Singaporean children – and their parents. The study began when the children were 7 years old. Follow up assessments were done when the children turned 8, 9, and 11 years old. The researchers got their results from parent reports, child reports, and observational data.
Families were asked to play a game. The children had to solve puzzles within a time limit. Parents were told they could help their child if necessary. The purpose was for the child to solve the problem. The researchers observed which parents interfered with their child’s attempt to solve the puzzle.
The study investigated two aspects of maladaptive perfectionism One type is called self-criticalness perfectionism, which is when a person is overly concerned with their imperfections and mistakes. The other kind is called socially prescribed perfectionism, which is when a person believes that other people expect perfection from them.
Intrusive parenting is often called “helicopter parenting”. It is when parents hover over their children and solve the child’s problems for them. Some parents continue this behavior after the child has gone to college or become an adult. The researchers found that highly intrusive parents were taking over the puzzle by solving it themselves, or by retracting a child’s move.
The results of the study showed that 60% of the children had high self-criticalness, while 78% had high socially prescribed perfectionism. A total of 59% of kids suffered from both at the same time. Children with intrusive parents can become fearful of making mistakes. They believe that they are supposed to be perfect, so they avoid asking for help when they need it.
One thing parents can do to avoid being intrusive is to ask their child questions in a welcoming (and non-judgmental) way. “How did you do on your math test?” That’s an open question that gives the child the opportunity to answer honestly. “Did you get an A?” That’s a question that teaches the child that he or she is expected to be perfect.
Related Articles on Families.com:
* Helicopter Parenting is not Helpful
* Authoritarian Parenting: An Overview
* Tiger Mother Parenting Can Lead to Problems