In addition to September’s designation as Pleasure Your Mate Month, it’s also Subliminal Communications Month.
“What does that have to do with marriage?” you may be wondering.
Manipulation, pure and simple.
Ah, but before you go judging and thinking manipulation is a bad thing, wait. Sure, manipulation has been put to many a dark use, but it is not inherently evil. Quite the contrary.
Why I Use It
Wayne would tell you I’ve almost mastered the fine art of manipulation. I will admit he’s right.
I’ve had a good apprenticeship, though. It started in college, as part of my major in Communications. I learned about supposed overt messages you could send in covert ways. Many a study has been conducted to prove advertisers (among others) bombard us with such messages every day to prompt us to think and act in certain ways.
Wayne will argue I bombard him with such messages too. Maybe not daily, but when need be.
I do.
Why?
Because there are times I need him to do something and simply asking won’t work. He needs to be coerced into it. In short, I must manipulate his actions.
I’ve learned that guilt trips, power trips, or any kind of trip do exactly as their name implies –they just trip people up (or out, as the case may be). But positive reinforcement? Oh, baby, the things I can accomplish…
Harnessing the Power of Positive Manipulation
“If you need to manipulate your husband, something’s wrong with your marriage.”
Come on, you don’t believe that do you? Haven’t you run into a situation where he (or she, as us wives do this too) keeps putting something off that you need done? It doesn’t have to be a major something. It can be a minor Honey Do you asked them to get around to months ago but that has laid dormant and ignored.
But how do you make someone do something they don’t want to? You make them believe they want to do it…because they’re brilliant at it.
For Example…
“You know the last time you took out the trash? I can’t tell you how much I appreciated you doing that. It saved me so much time. I thought about it all day and was so grateful you bothered.”
I generally use the above or something similar when the garbage can’s nearly full, thus planting my covert seed. Next time Wayne throws something away, he sees the garbage needs emptying and voila! Task complete. He’s happy to take it out because he associates it with something positive.
I always follow up with a hearty thank you, because I do appreciate that he did whatever I needed him to do.
See? It’s not painful. It’s not mean. It’s filled with love, kindness, and respect…I just happen to accomplish something along the way.
P.S.
College was where I was first introduced to subliminal communications. I later realized Wayne used it frequently…on me.
It just so happened the unwitting apprentice learned a few tricks to employ on her teacher.
Related Articles
How to Always Win the Argument
Your Influence Over Your Spouse
“If You Really Loved Me…” and Other Manipulations
You Can’t Change Each Other (Or Can You?)