There are many cases in a relationship and marriage when a couple needs to discuss serious issues. One well known phrase to begin one of those serious talks is “we need to talk”.
Each time that I hear this phrase, it automatically sets up a negative tone in my mind. It refers to a problem at hand and often a complaint from a spouse or mate.
Therefore, when needing to discuss a serious issue with a partner, I suggest using a more positive tone.
Much in what you receive from a conversation goes into what you put into it. If you go into the discussion with negative feelings and a blaming tone, you will likely get the same out of it.
Below I have listed some ideas on how to go into a serious discussion with your spouse or mate in a more positive manner. Using some of these ideas will help you get better results and get closer to the outcome that you desire.
Do not begin with “we need to talk”.
Most men are not big on serious, emotional talks. By beginning the conversation with this phrase, he begins to shut down before you start. Ease into the conversation before he knows what he has gotten into. Begin with the topic at hand. There is no reason to set a negative mood from the beginning.
Do not use “you”.
When you begin a sentence with the word “you”, you are putting your mate on the defense right from the start. “You” is a term that blames the other person and makes the person feel that there is a need to defend him or herself. When you begin attacking your partner with “you” statements and naming all of the things that he or she does wrong, the conversation will shut down.
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