I have blogged a few times on my own experiences with strong willed toddlers and my take on disciplining young children. I could essentially sum up my view in three words: consistency, clarity of expectations and patience. I feel that often times parents own discipline issues stem from their lack of clearly communicating the expectations and then consistently reinforcing the expectations with tangible consequence that, preferably, fit the crime. And of course we all need to be patient–we are after all dealing with toddlers whose tendencies are to test and try boundaries.
This is one reason I’m not a fan of time out or “the naughty chair”. It’s a consequence that doesn’t fit the crime (generally speaking) and consequently when you’re dealing with an 18 mos. old who is testing her boundaries, the naughty chair just doesn’t cut it. Apparently, the experts agree with me.
In a study conducted in England, researchers found that parents who used what is described as “supernanny methods” didn’t have children who were better behaved. To achieve this conclusion, they took two groups of parents and subjected one set to a series of parenting classes.
Moms were encouraged to use positive reinforcement, time outs and to refrain from yelling or harsh punishment. The parents had to go four two hour sessions. When the children were two years, they were not better behaved than the children from a control group. The mothers were not less stressed either. The one thing the program did do was cut down on harsh punishment like smacking. So say the experts.
Imagine that. The toddler stage is difficult. Who’d have thought? As a mother now looking at her own miniature research project in the making, I have to say that I really think that being strong willed or being especially compliant is very much a personality trait more than something the parents did or didn’t do. However, take heart–with persistence, patience and perseverance what is strong willed today can be leadership tomorrow!
Related Blogs:
The Strong Willed Toddler: My Experiences
Characteristics of Strong Willed Toddlers
More Characteristics of Strong Willed Toddlers