Today is the day of my prophylactic bilateral mastectomies and TRAM flap reconstruction. I had already explained to my three little kids the best that I could why Mommy was going to be in the hospital. I explained that Mommy had Boo- Boo Boobies and the doctor was going to give me knew ones that had no Boo-Boos’. It was just the basics but it was enough for them. I kissed them all while they slept and my husband and I quietly left the kids in my mom’s care. She was going to bring them to daycare once they opened, but I had to be at the hospital very early.
The surgery was going to take about 14 hours and I had two surgeons performing this procedure. The first surgeon is the general surgeon who did my initial lumpectomy and then of course the plastic surgeon. The general surgeon would be there to do the breast removal and the plastic is there for everything else. Both surgeons were going to be in the operating room the whole surgery except for potty breaks and maybe a bite to eat. It was going to be a long day; I hope they got a better night’s sleep than I did. Last night was not very restful for me; I tossed and turned all night. I was ok with my decision but I was scared of being in surgery for that long, I did worry about complications I hope I was making the right decision.
The plastic surgeon came in and grabbed his sharpie and made his surgical marks, asked if we had any questions and said he would see me in the operating room. He told my husband that a nurse would come out periodically and update him and that the surgeons would come out when the surgery was complete.
I kissed my husband and my mom and got wheeled into the OR. I am not sure why but as I was lying on the table before the anesthesia knocked me out I started to cry. Not a hard balling cry just tears coming down my face. The nurses asked if I was ok, and told me they would take good care of me, she wiped my tears and I fell asleep. I still don’t know why I cried but from that day on every time I have surgery I cry.