If you follow all of the marriage experts and the relationship surveys, you would be terrified. All of this “good” advice tells us that having kids is a sure way to put your marriage in jeopardy and become unsatisfied as a couple. In fact, some of the conclusions that are released tell you that you might as well prepare for divorce when you are preparing the nursery. But I have news for some of the people behind these reports. parenthood can actually strengthen your marriage for all of the right reasons.
Having children does change your relationship. It has to. Suddenly you have these other people for whom you are ultimately responsible. And if you don’t change, well then you can’t be a good parent, since children are needy, demanding little bundles from the moment that they enter the world.
Children can transform a couple into a family, and this can bring a husband and wife closer together. Suddenly, it is all about joint decision making. It isn’t about you anymore but about us. A couple can bond over the fact that no one else in the world but their partner understands exactly how much love and frustration you feel on a daily basis.
Children can also change you as an individual, making you less selfish. And being willing to consider someone else’s needs over your own spills over nicely to considering your spouse’s needs over your own. The few childless couples I know seem to conduct their lives almost independent of each other.
So what are some ways that will help you survive parenthood with a strong marriage intact?
Put your marriage first
Appreciate having the support of your spouse
Don’t criticize about your spouses methods of childcare
Get organized together
Keep the communication open.
What do you think? If you have children, did they strengthen your marriage or put a strain on your marriage?
Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.
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