Tag Archives: Birth parents

Teens who Choose Adoption More Likely to Succeed–So Why Don’t More Teens Choose It?

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We’ve been talking about educating youth about adoption, caring for babies, and life in general. In the middle of the twentieth century, the majority of girls and young women who gave birth while unmarried placed their babies for adoption. Now, the figure is less than two percent in most areas. The director of our agency’s adoption program told us that most of the birth mothers in their program were college-age. He said almost all of the high school students decided to parent their babies. Yet, most social service workers agree that children of single teenage mothers are at higher risk … Continue reading →

Thinking About Other Parents

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Some birthmothers and adoptive families observe the second Saturday in May as Birthmother’s Day. I find myself thinking about our birthmother on this day, although I still haven’t figured out what I’ll say to my daughters about it. Some adoptive families light candles or toast the birthmothers; probably I’ll just pray for their birthmother and foster mothers at our family bedtime prayer. While I comfortably wrote about my daughter having Three Mothers— her birthmother, her foster mother, and me—in practice, I have to admit that talking about it with my daughters is less comfortable. In short, I sometimes have trouble … Continue reading →

11 Things Some Adoptive Parents Would Like Birth Family by State Adoption to Know

Below is a list of things that some parents by adoption, as well as I have come up with and wish for our children’s birth parents and birth family to know: I love my children no differently than I would if I’d given birth to them myself. We have vowed to give our children the best we can possibly provide. We value many special characteristics that are a result of genetics and not by anything we could have given our children. We will not paint you in a bad light to our children. Having not been a birthparent, I can’t … Continue reading →

Request of Medical Information from Birth Father

As child number 7 born to my son’s birth mother is currently in state custody, I have decided to take the opportunity to inquire about medical information on the birth father that is allegedly the birth father for 6 of the 7 children. In the past, the state has been unable to obtain reliable information on him. As our son is getting older, we are having more questions about the medical history and hope we may get some of these questions answered soon. Dear (Birth Father’s name withheld), I am the mother by adoption to your 4th son (our son’s … Continue reading →

Please Relinquish Letter

I don’t believe I’m in any kind of position to send this letter, but it’s been weighing on me. The birth parents in reference are extremely dysfunctional and likely will not retain rights to their child. They will probably drag the case out leaving the baby in foster care for a longer time—time that could be spent bonding with his new mother and growing up with his birth siblings. Dear (Birth parents names), I am the mother by adoption to your 4th son (our son’s name). Even though the kids have been adopted into different homes, we are so glad … Continue reading →

Belonging, Identity and ‘The’ Reason Why: How I Decided Not to Search for My Birth Parents (cont’d.

Perhaps I’m a naturally “uncurious” person. But since I belong to my parents, I can’t imagine going to look for another mother, or what place this person could possibly hold in my life. Of course I realize a birth mother wouldn’t be “another mother”, and yet how do you define a relationship with someone who has given you life biologically, and at the same time given you nothing of the life you know now. I have never felt the need to look for this person to help define who I am. My identity, I feel, is largely formed in how … Continue reading →

Belonging, Identity and ‘The’ Reason Why: How I Decided Not to Search for My Birth Parents

So many things identify us. Many of you have likely read my blogs and know that I am a home schooling mom. I am the mother of five wonderful children, including a set of twins. I am the wife of a coach. And I am adopted. You can tell, without a doubt, that I must be adopted. The only way you could be more sure is if my adoptive parents and I were of different races. While both of my “adoptive” parents are dark haired, have brown eyes, and are almost olive color–I am blonde (or at least I was … Continue reading →

My Adoptive Parent Relationship

It wouldn’t take long for someone who didn’t know me well, to clue into who my mom is. She’s the person I call everyday to check in, she’s the person I call with interesting news or gossip even if I just spent thirty minutes talking to her before. She is the person I call with complaints, sorrows, excitement and joy when something major happens in my life. She’s my adoptive mom. I felt like I needed to tell everyone about my adoptive family a bit more, so that it doesn’t come across as if there was nothing good about it. … Continue reading →

The Twenty Most Popular Questions An Adoptee Has

Adoptee’s are plagued with questions their entire life. Some will go unanswered, and some can and should be answered. An adoptee is often haunted by these questions during different stages of life. For instance, many adoptee’s wonder who they look like. This is often something they are forced to think about as early as elementary school when the class is doing a hereditary chart to see where their blue eyes came from, or their blond hair. Especially when everyone else in the family has dark brown hair and brown eyes. Yes, I have been there. Here are the twenty most … Continue reading →