Tag Archives: Differences

Who Am I to Judge?

It seems to be human nature to judge—whether we are judging other people, situations or events. As a single parent, sometime our jugmentalism comes from a place of feeling defensive or self-conscious. I know that I wrestle with catching myself judging other people and often it is somehow a reflection of my own feeling about myself. I have to remind myself that I definitely do not like being on the receiving end and feeling so judged, so who am I to judge others? I think it is incredibly typical for us as single parents to develop a thick shell and … Continue reading →

Dealing with Differences

So, you have trouble getting along with your neighbor or someone in your church? Or maybe it’s someone in your own family? What can you do about it? It’s a fact of life that at times, some people rub us up the wrong way. Even other Christians can aggravate us and be hard to get along with. Why is that? Years ago I was involved in a Christian group and having difficulty with one of the other ladies. I commented to a friend about how hard I found this woman to get along with. My wise friend said, ‘I’ve found … Continue reading →

Using and Modeling Some Sensitivity

When it comes to single parent families, we do not always see our families reflected back at us from the media, our children’s school books and papers, or from things that other people say about “family.” While our society seems to be getting more single-parent family-friendly, our kids can still face some insensitivity around their own family scene. As parents and adults, we can use sensitivity ourselves and model it for others. Sensitivity means that we acknowledge and expect that not everyone has a two-parents in the home sort of family. For kids who have “different” families, even ordinary and … Continue reading →

Accepting Alternative Paths

I know this title seems sort of “woo woo” as we like to say here on the West coast, but earlier today I was talking with a fellow parent and we were talking about the different ways our kids have of going about things. Not everyone follows the “traditional” or “socially acceptable” way of going about schooling, activities, religion, etc. As a matter of fact, our kids have a way of evolving individually and forcing us to realize that there are even different paths out there! When I was growing up, I just assumed that every kid went to their … Continue reading →

Allowing for Dissent in the Ranks

I do think there is a difference between being a parent who is “in charge” and being a “my way or the highway” type of parent. I suppose that is that old comparison between being authoritarian and authoritative. Regardless of what it is called, I think that it is healthy for a family to have a little dissention in the ranks. As parents, we should be confident and involved enough NOT to feel threatened when our kids disagree. Kids are supposed to disagree—that is part of their job. As parents, we need to be strong and comfortable enough to choose … Continue reading →

Making Changes With or Without Your Family

Sure, it is nice to make changes and try new things as a family, but that isn’t always possible. You may have visions of becoming a vegetarian family or switching churches and find that others within the family unit balk and refuse to participate–or at least to participate willingly. It can take a little tact, care, patience, and planning to make big changes as a group–and sometimes, you might have to just make them on your own! When kids are young, it might be easier to make wholesale changes as a family. The less independent and mobile kids are, the … Continue reading →

Allowing for Different Relationships With Different Children

This is not going to be a blog in support of favoritism or inequities in the parenting of different children. I do not subscribe to the belief system that every parent has or should have a favorite child regardless. But, what I do know is that each child is different and has different needs and ways of being in a relationship, and this requires that a parent be able to adjust and find a unique way of connecting with each unique child. There is a difference between fairness and equality and allowing for individuality. You can still be a fair-minded … Continue reading →

Accepting All the Different Influences

When I set out on the road to parenthood, I saw myself as the idyllic mother who would have intense, benevolent influence on her children. They would absorb my ideas and values and I would send them out into the world as all the things I wasn’t. Well, reality is a little bit different. Even in those early infant stages, I had to come to terms with the fact that I was not the only influence on my children… At first, I fought a lot of those outside influences. At least, I saw them as “outside” influences, even though my … Continue reading →

Tolerating Different Opinions and Values Within a Family

One of the things we try to do as parents is to impart our value systems on our children. Of course, they are individuals and tend to grow up and formulate their own opinions and ideas about the world—sometimes taking on our values, and sometimes coming up with some of their own. Many of you know that all of my children are currently teenagers and they are little opinion machines right now. Part of my world, as a parent to teens, is to learn how to and foster some tolerance around all of these differing opinions and ideas that are … Continue reading →

Promises or Commitment – Is There a Difference?

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Is there a difference between a commitment and a promise? Yes, there is. It can be confusing I’ve known women who’ve been involved with men who made them promises but they were never actually committed. It’s a tricky place to be – where you hear lots of promises or you receive a lot of promises – but promises aren’t a commitment. For example, an engagement ring is a promise to get married – but it’s not a commitment. The commitment happens when you actually get married. That’s when you make the commitment. Yes, I know it’s semantics, but we live … Continue reading →