Tag Archives: Transition

Teetering Towards Toddlerhood

Lately, the topic of a child’s transition from being an infant to being a toddler has been on my mind a lot. While my oldest son recently made the transition out of the toddler age group, in just three short months my baby will officially turn a year old. He is already almost a toddler. In some ways, Blake seems more like a toddler than a baby. He has been crawling for months now, and he is very interested in learning how to walk. Sometimes, he simply cannot bear to be down on the floor and he cries for me … Continue reading →

Are You Purposefully Prolonging Transition?

Maybe you call it “getting stuck” or maybe it is really just trying to avoid change or hold back the tide—but sometimes we purposefully hold ourselves back to keep from moving all the way through a period of transition. It can be because we are afraid of the unknown or because we have been through so much change already that we want to stay still for a while. Other times, we may just get into a “comfort zone” and not be ready to push through to the other side. The thing is, change comes along anyway and resisting can just … Continue reading →

Gearing Up for Transitions

As parents, we often find ourselves reacting to phases and stages and things that our children go through—but sometimes, we can actually prepare ourselves and our children in advance for transitions and life changes that are coming up on the horizons. Things like changing schools or a move might come to mind, but there are other transitions that can be traumatic as well. Moving into a new class, starting a new activity, learning to drive, searching for a college, getting ready to move out, going off to summer camp—you can see how there are so many changes and events that … Continue reading →

“No, We Are Not Getting Back Together”

Enough years have passed that my children have grown quite used to the way things are—two households, post-divorce. As a matter of fact, so much time has passed that it is sometimes hard for them to really fathom that it was ever any different. Of course, we have our stories and memories, but the reality of day-to-day living has taken over. In the early months, however, my kids were pretty typical and they harbored that “Parent Trap” mentality that their divorcing parents might actually get back together… I think it is important for parents who are definitely divorcing to be … Continue reading →

Arrival Parties

Maybe some of you have witnessed an international adoption placement at an airport. I remember seeing one while I was in college. There were a couple dozen people, balloons, and one very scared looking tot. Many people who adopt have waited a long time to have children. Sometimes they do not have the baby showers or other preparatory celebrations that expectant parents enjoy. The adoption of their child is one of the biggest events in their lives, and they want to celebrate with everyone. Grandparents and friends are eager to show they accept and support the new family. But imagine … Continue reading →

Introducing Yourself to Your Child—Part Two: The Meeting

US adoptions often have a “Transition” period built in when children are moved from a foster home to an adoptive one. The ideal is to have the adoptive parents visit the child in his/her familiar space, for the foster parents to greet the adoptive parents so the child sees that foster mother is comfortable with them therefore they can probably be trusted, then have the foster parent begin a caregiving task such as giving a bottle or a bath then having the adoptive parent finish it. This gives the child “permission” to accept nurturing from the adoptive parents. There are … Continue reading →

Fast Transitions

Length of transitioning varies from child to child. With older children, longer transitions are typically much more beneficial. Transitioning can be very critical to your child’s future and their sense of security. Our second son was only five and a half months old when he was placed with us. His transition happened in one week’s time. My husband and I spent all but one day with him; we brought him home to play, try out his crib, then brought him back to his foster mother. Though there appeared to be some grief the first few nights he was with us, … Continue reading →

Attitudes Regarding State Adoptions: Part 2

In part one I shared some misconceptions and attitudes in regard to children adopted through the state. Here I’ll continue: Our child won’t have that ~ If you’re one of the few parents that gets your dream child that is beautiful, smart, fully compliant, then you best hit the slot machines as you are one lucky person! Parents who adopt older children especially are adopting not just the child, but the needs of the child that have to be addressed. Unfortunately, the state agency is not always aware of these needs prior to placement, either because they never got the … Continue reading →

Attitudes Regarding State Adoptions: Part 1

The following is a list of attitudes and misconceptions people have about adoption usually prior to their placement. I don’t intend to discourage anyone, but it’s important for families to be realistic in expectation. Children aren’t puppies, they’re children! ~ There is nothing wrong with wanting to adopt and know you are giving your child a good home. It’s okay for you to feel good about what you’re doing. But if you’re going to have the attitude that you are “rescuing” this child, you are doing your family a great injustice. It gives implication to the child that they owe … Continue reading →

Transitioning Your Child to Their New Home

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How a child is transitioned is so important! There are families who feel like the transition should take as long as possible to ensure a smoother transition, and others who feel a fast transition is better, allowing the new parents to take that opportunity to comfort and soothe the child. How long a transition should take really depends on the child, and the foster family. In our first son’s case, the foster family felt they needed to say goodbye quickly for their own emotional concerns. Our son was 13 ½ months old. I think it would have been hard on … Continue reading →