Tag Archives: abuse

Teachable Moments in Protective Play.

Protective play is about finding teachable moments, during play, to introduce the five BITSS elements of protective behaviors. BITSS play can help you to protect your child by introducing talk about Body Ownership, Intuition, Touch, Say No and Support Networks before anything horrible happens to your child. I run Protective Play parties to teach parents how easy it is to do. I take a stock of everyday toys with me and we sit and play as if kids would. During the play I coach in how find and grab that teachable moment and mentor the participants through play tutoring. It … Continue reading →

When Bad Things Happen Again and Again.

It is not uncommon for a woman or child to reveal that many different perpetrators have sexually abused them throughout their life. There are neuropsychological and cognitive theories to explain why this happens. This does not mean that these theories are correct; it is just a way to help us understand how it is possible for one good person to attract so many bad things. What really gets me angered is when I hear people comment that the child or woman must be lying; that it is impossible for anybody to be sexually abused that many times. It is possible, … Continue reading →

Drink spiking: A Rapists Favorite Game (Continued).

This article has been continued from Drink Spiking: A Rapists Favorite Game. Who are the victims of drink spiking? All types of people have become victims of drink spiking, however the majority of reported Australian victims are young women aged between fifteen and thirty. Where does drink spiking happen? Most cases of drink spiking happen at nightclubs and pubs. However, there have also been incidents of drink spiking at private parties, school functions and restaurants. What can I do to prevent my drink being spiked? • Make sure you don’t leave your drink unattended. If you need to go somewhere … Continue reading →

Drink spiking: A Rapists Favorite Game.

October is Sexual Violence Awareness Month in Queensland, Australia. Given that I am a sexual assault therapist and have seen many women who claim to have been drink spiked and raped as a result, I thought it fitting to provide an awareness article on the heinous practice of drink spiking. Drink spiking can, and does, happen to anyone – even those people who don’t drink alcohol when they’re out. As a parent, I worry about my children being drink spiked and I offer this two part article for your information and precaution. When a drink is spiked it means that … Continue reading →

Protective Behaviors at Bath Time are Lush.

Bath time is an excellent time to begin talking about Protective Behaviors. While washing children you can tell them about their private parts: the parts that nobody can touch unless it’s Mom or Dad giving them a quick wash or putting medicine there, or the Dr. or Nurse having a quick check to make sure all is well. The private parts are the body bits covered by our underwear or swimming costumes. Private means, “This is my body and it’s not for sharing. If you touch, I’m going to tell.” Although this seems super easy to me, many parents struggle … Continue reading →

Date Rape

Date Rape is when someone you are dating forces or manipulates you into having sex when you really don’t want to. Regardless of your relationship with that person, even if you love and trust them, sex without your clear and un-pressured “yes,” is rape. Rape is against the law. Many people wrongly think that because their date paid for dinner, movies, coffee, etc, that they are expected to repay the favor by having sex. WRONG. When I invite people to dinner, or pay for their coffee when I go out, I certainly do not expect them to sleep with me. … Continue reading →

Shampoo to Help Remove the Shams and Pooh of Life after an Assault.

When a person is raped, they often complain of feeling “dirty” and want to immediately scrub themselves clean. If the victim wants to report the assault to the police the necessary forensic testing for evidence gathering requires the victim to not shower until evidence has been collected. This can be a double violation. Being subjected to even more personal intrusion, the victims long to scrub their bodies clean. Hospitals offer bathroom facilities and staff are usually compassionate and accommodating. While most of us can immediately understand the emotional and mental health cost of rape, have you ever considered the financial … Continue reading →

Umbrellas and Parrots to Help Play Protect our Children. Thanks Mary Poppins.

I’m back and how I have missed my friends at families.com. However, my recent Protective Play tour to Maryborough was Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I was guest speaker at the breakfast launch of Sexual Violence Awareness month and facilitated a four-hour training in the BITSS model of Protective Behaviors. Twenty-one social science professionals attended the training and we played with everyday toys and household items in an effort to discover novel ways to instill protective behavior teachable moments into families’ homes. Of most interest to me was the revisit of the umbrella as a protective play tool. Umbrellas are useful for protection from … Continue reading →

Does your Daughter get Sexually Harassed at School?

Sexual harassment can take many different forms, however, all actions are based on the social construction of inherited male power and gender conditioning. Unsolicited and unreciprocated male sexual behavior, directed toward females, is often regarded by some as a normal male practice. Such learned functioning undermines the autonomy of women and girls. This cannot remain unchallenged because it is hurting our daughters and affecting their learning at school. Sexual harassment occurs in school settings too, between male teacher to female student, male student to female teacher and from student to student. Australian research has shown a dominant school culture where … Continue reading →

Recovery From a Rape. YOU Can Immediately Help.

Rape and sexual assault are life-changing occurrences. They violate a women’s soul because her essence has been attacked. The effects of the rape can last for many years, sometimes even a lifetime. Survivors may feel isolated and alone, different and unusual. They are none of these. Many women have been sexually assaulted but they do not feel comfortable in publicly discussing it. No matter what circumstance she was assaulted under, it is NEVER her fault and there is no shame attached to it. Her shame is self-designed because of a fear of being judged from you. Blame statements: Remarks from … Continue reading →