Tag Archives: abuse

A Father’s Day Tribute to the Absent Military Fathers Who Help Protect All Children.

Today it is Father’s Day in Australia. Too often, all fathers are maligned with those fathers who perpetrate dreadful abuses against their children. For those many Dads’ that don’t harm their children I want to give you a salute to thank you for protecting our kids. My father was a long serving Army officer. Not only did he defend and protect his own children he also defended his country at great cost to his own mental health. I know that there are many Dads’ in this situation and many families today who will be wishing their Dad were at home … Continue reading →

The Cycle of Violence: part 6, Tension Build Up.

Yesterday in “Normal”, we saw the cyclic behavior beginning to slip back to old and habitual ways of operating. You may remember that the mother said nothing about her partner’s outburst at the children. She instead just thought that his behavior was a bit tough. He’d been trying so hard that she didn’t want to be negative and spoil the positive changes that he had made. However, his outburst is the first indicator that the behavior is on a downhill slide and that the household is beginning to become unsafe. During the Tension Build Up stage of the relationship, tensions … Continue reading →

The Cycle of Violence: Part 5, Normal

I have always had difficulty with the name of this stage of the cycle. I question if it is normal behavior that occurs. I wonder if it should be called habitual behaviour rather than normal behavior. During this stage, things begin to slip back to normal. It takes so much energy to keep up remorse, buyback and honeymoon that the perpetrator will begin to let his guard down. His behavior slips back to the old ways that he had been promising to lose. As an example, if during buyback the perpetrator had promised that the family would have a together … Continue reading →

Child Protection Week

Child Protection Week is an opportunity for community to reflect on their protection practices and to celebrate kids being kids. This week, Australian communities are celebrating their children, their commitments to keeping children safe, and our active involvement with families who are struggling. This morning’s launch encouraged people to consult with children to find out what they want to help keep them safe. Have a look at the NAPCAN site to see what some Australian children have already said. It’s interesting that the responses lack items like play stations or expensive trips away. Australian children are identifying love, peace and … Continue reading →

The Cycle of Violence: Part 1, The Explosion

Domestic and family violence is an act of abuse. It is a gendered crime, which means that many more men than women perpetrate the violence. It is an act of power designed to create fear in the victims and compliance with the perpetrators perceived power. Domestic and Family Violence is against the law. The Cycle of Violence is a pattern of behaviour that occurs in many relationships: husband/wife, father/child, mother /child, friend/friend, employer and employee. The cycle follows a particular pattern and gets quicker in completion each time the cycle restarts. Whereas the cycle may take 12 months to first … Continue reading →

Sexual Predators Groom for Silence

Yesterday we looked at the grooming process that sexual predators use on children and their adult supports. The predators purposely groom to trick and manipulate others into believing that the abuser is a wonderful, caring person. Throughout this devious method of control, they also groom the child to stay silent. A threat doesn’t have to be made in anger. A soft, caring voice that warns a child that if they tell, the family will be destroyed is as effective as holding a knife to a child’s throat. Children love and trust their families; they do not want to be the … Continue reading →

BITSS of Say No.

It has always struck me as strange that while we want our children to grow into confident, assertive adults, we do not allow them to practice assertiveness as children. Although many toddlers start out saying “no” on every occasion, we soon halt this learning by telling the babies that saying “no” is not nice. Sexual abuse is not nice either and when children have been trained to never say “no” to grown ups, they become easy targets for predators. Saying “no” is not a form of disrespect. It is an example of assertiveness and high self-esteem. Of course, there will … Continue reading →

My Spouse Hits Me – Can a Wife Abuse Her Husband?

Continue a rather downer of a theme from earlier today, I wanted to talk about spousal abuse. The most common form of spousal abuse involves a husband abusing a wife. However, a wife can abuse her husband and while this isn’t the most typical of cases, it can happen. How Can A Wife Abuse Her Husband? Abuse comes in many different forms. There’s emotional, mental and physical abuse. Women, who abuse, are more likely to use emotional and mental abuse tactics rather than physical, though they can also be physically abusive. Emotional abuse can begin as a form of emotional … Continue reading →

Coping with Sexual Harassment and Assault (1)

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Sexual assault in all its forms occurs across all age groups and in both genders. Unlike the stereotyped “rape” scenario, sexual assault is rarely carried out by strangers. One of the most frightening aspects of this often life-changing event is that it is most commonly performed by a person who is known to the victim. Sadly, it is not so much the dark-clad figure in the lonely park at night that is responsible for most assaults. It is the known and respected: the fathers, the uncles, the husbands, the boyfriends, the teachers, and the bosses. It is this latter aspect … Continue reading →

Eminent Domain and the Homeowner

What does Eminent Domain mean to you? It used to mean that the government had the right to take (usually condemnable) property, at a fair rate, to use it for roads, hospitals, or some other community necessity. Today it means you could lose your home if someone can make the government more money with your property. News reports indicate that thousands of properties have been targeted in the past few years, and these are not instances where the land is needed to provide necessary improvements or services. These properties are being taken and given to others under the guise of … Continue reading →