Tag Archives: adoption loss

Adoption Loss

Throughout the adoption process, when people heard that we were adopting they automatically looked at us like we were defective. They would ask if we had tried hormones, in-vitro, or if my husband was not able to make babies. There are no biological reasons why we went the adoption route. The choice to adopt was just that for us, a choice. We made a conscious choice to prevent ourselves from getting pregnant; we made the choice to adopt as a couple from the beginning of our marriage. You would be surprised at how differently families that adopt are treated compared … Continue reading →

Other Adoption Loss Scenarios

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My last blogs, What is Adoption Loss? and and Legal-Risk Placements, talk about the disappointment and grief that ensue when a planned adoption does not happen and describe some situations when this might occur. Other situations of adoption loss can occur when a child whose birthmother who had arranged to place with specific parents literally dies before or after the birth. A famous, thankfully rare, situation was the crash of a jumbo jet carrying several hundred Vietnamese children to the United States for adoption during Operation Babylift just before the fall of Saigon in 1975. A baby may be born … Continue reading →

What is Adoption Loss?

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We all know of miscarriage, or pregnancy loss. “Adoption loss” is the bereavement felt when an expected adoption does not occur. Although less than one-tenth of a percent of finalized adoptions are contested each year, parents are often heavily invested emotionally before finalization or before placement. Often they have been meeting with birthparents for several months. They may have seen the baby via ultrasound, chosen a name for the baby, shared the news with their families, prepared the baby’s room, and bought clothing specific to the gender of the expected child. Some birth parents even invite the adoptive parents to … Continue reading →