Tag Archives: arguments

Telling the Same Story

Have you ever listened to two people telling the same story? It always sounds different. In some cases it may be so different as to be unrecognizable. Just listen to anyone telling about an argument they had, whether it is with their spouse or some other person. Depending on the person’s personality, what happens is that they come out as either the one doing the right thing or they come out as the victim, the one that is being hard done by. The way they tell it will determine how those listening view them and the other person involved. We … Continue reading →

One Point of View- Part 2

Following on from yesterday’s article here are some more ideas about seeing things from another perspective. Other questions to ask are: 3. Who Can Help? Now what I don’t mean here is sharing your personal life and problems with friends or family. That is rarely helpful and can often make things worse. However a practical way, if you and your spouse need time together to work things out without children around, is to co-opt the help of friends or family to look after the children for a short time. An hour, a day, a weekend, or whatever is needed. You … Continue reading →

Avoiding the Unpleasant

We’ve probably all had the experience at some stage of finding certain people rub us up the wrong way. Undoubtedly then we try and avoid them. We make sure we don’t get into conversation with them, or we’re always busy and have something else we need to do or somewhere else we need to be when they are around. We avoid those people and the circumstances which we find unpleasant. It can even happen that we start to void and pull away from our spouse, especially if it is starting to be an unpleasant experience. For example if you are … Continue reading →

Before You React

I’ll bet we have all experienced the situation where our spouse says or does something, and we react and then wish we hadn’t been so quick to react. But it’s too late. So here are a couple of suggestions for next time you feel like reacting that way. Stop and think about the effect of your words and the choice of them. Is there a better way of phrasing them? Honesty is good in a marriage but it needs to be tempered with tact. Is there a better time to voice your concerns? The wrong words at the wrong time … Continue reading →

Gambling and Marriage

I read something the other day which astounded me. Acceding to reports Australians spend $60 a week on lottery and lotto tickets. I wonder if it is any different in USA. Now, I don’t know about you but I can’t imagine taking that sort of amount out of our budget every week and still trying to get by. Yes, I know the logic is someone has to win it. That’s the sort of thinking that gets people sucked into buying tickets they can’t afford and putting money through slot machines in the hope of pulling of the jackpot. I’ve been … Continue reading →

Quality of Marriage

The quality of your marriage might well depend on whether and in what quantities these other Qs are present. If you or your spouse is any of those mentioned below you might for you marriage’s sake try and eliminate them from your marriage Querulous The dictionary definition is complaining or peevish. Do you know someone who is like this, who is always complaining? I do and, no, it’s not Mick or anyone in the family. No matter what anybody does it is never right, never good enough. There’s always something they have to whinge about. It is very wearing and … Continue reading →

Dangers in the Party Scene

The Christmas party scene can be fraught with dangers if we are not careful. Yesterday I looked at, among other things, how alcohol loosen inhibitions and causes people to do things they might not normally It also presents the problem of who’s going to drive home afterwards. That can often be the cause of an argument. I’ve seen it happen. Either that or someone drives who is unfit to drive because their judgment is impaired by alcohol. As a young married woman said recently ‘I can understand why they warn people not to drink and drive. When I have a … Continue reading →

Watch Your Words

Okay so you and your spouse end up in an argument. It happens to all of us, from time to time. I’m always suspicious of people who claim to never argue. One of the things to beware of in an argument is that you actually answer the comment or criticism your spouse makes. It sounds easy enough. But it’s not always. Too often we read into words, things that were never untended and things the other person never even thought of. You know how a ventriloquist’s doll speaks words and often they’re cheeky but really it is the ventriloquist putting … Continue reading →

Helping Young Marrieds

If you’ve been married a few years or a long while, how prepared are you to encourage and help those just starting out on the marriage path? Recently a couple I know celebrated their twentieth wedding anniversary. Someone commented that in this day and age where many marriages never last anywhere near that long, this couple is an encouragement to others. I remember too when I said once how long Mick and I had been married the person looked at me in stunned amazement. She then congratulated me on our long marriage. Funnily enough it doesn’t seem that long at … Continue reading →

Pets and Your Marriage

Today we’re going to look at pets and your marriage. Do you have a pet? What place does you pet or pets play n your marriage? Who made the decision to get the pet? Was it a joint decision or did one person inherit the pet when they married? Or is it a case of his and hers pets? Recently I heard of a woman who went out one day and bought home two dogs, without consulting her husband. To make matters worse the husband was not greatly enamored of dogs. Needless to say, her decision to acquire the dogs … Continue reading →