Tag Archives: arguments

Picture of a Marriage

Yesterday Mick and I had a day date and went to the movies to see ‘Revolutionary Road.’ It is a movie about a marriage. So often we hear that it is women who want to talk out their problems and men who don’t listen. In this case he often wanted to talk about the problems but the wife didn’t want to talk about the problems they were experiencing. The crowd, with the exception of a few brave men like my husband, was predominately female. A collective gasp ran around the theater like a current of electricity when he raised his … Continue reading →

Disagreements Aren’t Always Bad for Your Marriage

Disagreements aren’t always bad. In fact they can be good for your marriage. Better to have it out in the open that festering inside and the other person not knowing what is wrong. I’m sure we’ve all heard the, ‘What’s wrong?’ ‘Nothing,’ the other person replies, though obviously there is. Then eventually the other person admits what the problem is. The alternative is that they dwell on it so much that sooner or later everything little thing the other person does starts to aggravate until eventually the whole thing blows up and turns into a major argument that is not … Continue reading →

Tips for Dealing with Argumentative Sore Spots

Do you have an argumentative sore spot in your marriage? You might even have more than one. So often in marriage we can think of the big issues like money, change, work, or family issues, as being the things we tend to keep on top of and try not to argue about. We might be really careful to discuss these issues and then find wham! It’s the little side issues that trip us up and cause to argue. I know for example, and Mick would agree, that we’ve never had problems talking about and coming to reasonable and logical decisions … Continue reading →

Are You the Exception to the Rule?

We’ve all heard the jokes about mother in laws. They seem to be standard fair of comedians. And yes, I’ve seen some mother in law and daughter in law or son in law relationships that give credence to those jokes. But then there are the others. Years ago I knew a lady whose relationship with her daughter in law was so beautiful. When people heard her talk about Jill you could hear the love in her voice. People always assumed she was talking about her daughter. When they found out Jill was her daughter in law they were stunned. Should … Continue reading →

Arguments Cause Hurt Feelings

Arguments may be inevitable in family life, as are those power struggles and disagreements, but the truth is even if one person feels like they “win” an argument, someone always gets hurt feelings. Often, both sides have hurt feelings by the end of the argument and how can this make an argument worthwhile? I am not saying that we should not express our emotions or teach our children how to say when they are angry, frustrated, or aggravated, but I do think that we need to keep in mind that the outcome of an argument is generally hurt feelings. Whether … Continue reading →

You Can Choose Peace

I know that it does not always seem like peacefulness and family life go hand-in-hand–especially for some single parent families. I also have learned, however, that we do have some choice in our environment and how we react. We can, as parents, choose peace over an argument or over having to be in charge or right and that peacefulness can have a positive, lasting influence on our families. The fact is, our children will NOT always choose peace first. They may want a fight or a power struggle or they may feel like having a bit of a fit is … Continue reading →

Fighting, Fighting, Fighting!

This is not just an article for families with siblings–sometimes even only children will have neighborhood chums or school friends who seem to be more sparring partners than buddies. For some of us parents, we just can’t figure out why we cannot get a moment’s peace for all the arguments, squabbling, and fighting that goes on in our houses and yards. As I used to say to my own children when they went through battling stages– “We’re not that kind of family!” Obviously, at least once in a while, we were… Why do kids fight with each other and how … Continue reading →

You Don’t Always Have to “Win”

As you may imagine, with three teenagers of my own and often a few “extras” in my house, there are plenty of opinions, theories, politics, and comments flying around at any given moment. It used to be, when my children were smaller, that we could have “discussions” and I could share my opinions, values, and ideas with them. But now days, they are working pretty hard at developing their own and I have the sort of kids who would argue and debate over just about anything. That isn’t exactly my style, but it is hard not to get sucked into … Continue reading →

Financial Goals for Marriage

Finances and marriage are always a tough combination. There never seems to be enough money and sometimes, there can be too much. Both can be a potent one-two punch to a marriage’s balance and tranquility. Married to the Money Financially, my marriage has been in both boats. In the early years of our relationship, we always had excess cash. It sounds great and at times, it was great. But whenever we had difficulties in the relationship, we used money to repair problems. We’d buy presents or go do something extravagant. Retail therapy was a great panacea for all ills. What … Continue reading →

Don’t Seethe in Silence

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Family life, married life – none of it is perfect and most couples that are married know this. There is the promise of married life when we’re young – an image of the perfect happily ever after. Too often when a young couple, not prepared for the rigors of married life, discover that it’s not a happily ever after unless they put in a lot of effort. Understanding this and accepting it is called being mindful in your acceptance. Your married life isn’t going to be perfect. You and your spouse will argue. Your kids will yell at you. You’ll … Continue reading →