Tag Archives: attention

What is Love?

What is love? Love is not a feeling. Oh it may start out that way. But love shows itself in action, by what it does. I have to disagree with the lines in a favorite movie of mine. Matt Drayton the character played by Spencer Tracey says, in ‘Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner,’ ‘The only thing that matters is what they feel, and how much they feel, for each other. And if it’s half of what we felt- that’s everything.’ But it’s not all what they feel. The young couple shows their love by their actions because they’re ready to … Continue reading →

Who Really Wants to be Ignored?

Yesterday, I wrote here in the Single Parents blog wondering how we could really blame our children for wanting to have our attention. As I wrote, I realized that the “dark shadow” of attention-seeking behavior on the part of our kids is how it can affect them when they feel ignored. After all, who really wants to be ignored and is there anything worse than feeling invisible and unimportant? We may not be intentionally ignoring our child or children—life can get hectic and busy and we might be so wrapped up in our own worries that we do not even … Continue reading →

Can You Blame Them for Wanting Attention?

We parents tend to assume that when our children want our attention it is a “bad thing.” We talk about it like we have failed as parents or they are being overly-annoying as children and we just cannot understand why they want to act up to get our attention. When you think about it, however, can you really blame them for wanting attention? After all, isn’t that part of our job as parents to give our children plenty of love and attention? When our children act out to get us to notice them, maybe we should see that as a … Continue reading →

Are They Just Trying to Get Attention Again?!

A common response to a child’s troubling behavior is that he or she is “just trying to get attention!” I have found this to be an especially common assumption among those of the older generations. So, what IF a child is trying to get attention? Does that discredit his or her behavior? How much attention should we give our children before we are spoiling or enabling? Are there certain kinds of attention that are better than others? I learned many, many years ago from a wise mentor parent to pay attention to my triggers and responses to my children’s behaviors. … Continue reading →

When a Child Fakes an Illness or Injury

Many a child has learned how to milk a “boo boo” for a little extra TLC—from the time our children are babies, we parents make a bit of a fuss over them when they get ill or injured and they quickly learn that a physical ailment is a surefire way to get some extra attention. For many parents, we inevitably have to deal with a child faking an illness or injury and depending on how big of a trigger it is for us, we have to figure out how to respond… When my daughter was in the first grade, I … Continue reading →

Pouting

As individuals, some of us parents can tolerate certain behaviors while others make us crazy. I always find it interesting talking with parents and finding out what are their triggers and what things they can handle just fine. I have a fairly high tolerance for whining, for example, while other parents absolutely hate it. One other area where I can manage a fair amount of tolerance is for moping and pouting—but I know some parents who find that a child’s pouting and moping about is a huge trigger… Pouting…that drooping body language, brooding face, and general slouching about that a … Continue reading →

What to Do with Others when One Child Gets Sick

I have written occasionally about illness and the single parent because I do think that sickness in a single parent household can be a “bigger deal” than in one where there are two parents ready and available to help. When one child in a family of siblings get sick, it can also be tough figuring out how to make sure the healthy children get enough attention while tending to the ill one… I know that when my children were much younger, the healthy kids tended to act up and either try to get away with things, or do whatever they … Continue reading →

Can You Grab Their Attention and Keep it?

Whether your business consists of a web site or you get your work through presentations, sales, etc. it still all comes down to being about to get the prospective customer’s attention and keep it long enough to convince them to do business with you. It is important that we put energy not just into broadcasting our marketing materials but also into how dynamic we can be in grabbing people’s attention and hanging on to it… How interesting is your web site? If you have a web site as part of your business, do some self-critiquing to figure out how the … Continue reading →

Acting Up When They Need Attention

Although my kids have pretty much outgrown the attention-seeking outbursts by now, they definitely used to act up when they were younger. If our lives were particularly stressed or I was busy, if I got on the phone or dinner was late, or I was working on something that I just couldn’t put off and they wanted my attention—they might pick a fight with each other, start a fuss, complain of a headache, or other sorts of behaviors that were designed to get them the attention the were craving. I think as single parents, it helps if we understand what … Continue reading →

Some Attention Needs to be Undivided

With three kids, one mom, two-plus jobs, and a multitude of other daily realities, there is not a lot of my attention that is clear and focused. While my kids have gotten used to sharing me and dealing with the constant juggling, I have also had to learn that I HAVE to settle down and pay attention to them without the distractions. Sometimes it still hurts their feelings if the phone rings during an impromptu heart-to-heart and they don’t always want to “go along” with me while I run errands in order to talk with me. As single parents, we … Continue reading →