Tag Archives: authority

Try to Instill Confidence

Even after years of what I consider “successful” single parenting, I am dismayed to report that my children still occasionally worry. I am not sure where it comes from since I have always taken care of them and they have never really wanted for any of the basics. I think they are old enough now to be starting to realize what it takes to hold things together and they occasionally will say things like “We’re doing alright, right mom?” It always catches me off guard since I have done everything in my power to portray an air of strength and … Continue reading →

Sometimes, the Answer is Just “No”

As you may imagine, with teenagers in the house, there is often a fair amount of “negotiation” around things. It becomes less about setting down firm rules and expecting obedience and more about finding a happy medium between authority and free reign. I think that is why it can be so shocking (and powerful) when I say “no” and mean it—no amount of negotiation is likely to change my mind. Recently, my son wanted to get a particular game for his Play Station and while I tend to be rather lenient about such things now that my kids are older, … Continue reading →

Let Your Kids Know They Can Blame it on You

I remember very clearly the few times in my adolescence and growing up years that I was able to “pass the buck” on my parents and how much I appreciated it. Sure, there were plenty of times when I felt oppressed by their unjust rules and all the times I thought they didn’t understand me–but there were also those times when I was grateful to be able to say: “My parents won’t let me” or “my mom said no.” I know for a fact that my own kids have felt the same way. They have been plenty angry at times … Continue reading →

It is Up to Us to Get Things Under Control

Recently, I had a message or request arrive in my e-mail inbox—a mother of four asking for recommendations for books that would help her “wild” children learn about rules and regulations and how to get themselves under control. Alas, that really isn’t the way it is done. It is up to us as parents—even if we are over-stretched single parents—to get our lives, our children, and our families under control. Or, at least to do our very best to take the helm and steer our worlds! I do have compassion, I understand how it can seem easier just to throw … Continue reading →

Be Clear Before Taking Action

We single parents don’t usually have someone to bounce parenting ideas and suggestions off of, or someone handy to help us work through things to make sure we are seeing things clearly. I think this is one of the main reasons that single parents can sometimes seem inconsistent. We feel like we have to take some sort of action, and we do that before we are completely clear that we are looking at things from a reasonable perspective. This is why I think it is sometimes necessary for us to take a little extra time and make sure that we … Continue reading →

Do You Demand Respect? Or Tolerate Some Back Talk?

As a single parent, we are usually on our own when it comes to creating an aura of authority with our kids. One of the issues that come up for single moms, in particular, is a lack of respect and more back talk than might be permissible in a two-parent home. If we have more than one child, we are inherently out-numbered and when they hit those snarky adolescent years, it can be tough to insist upon respect all the time. Do we give in and tolerate back talk? Do we let the little stuff go and fight the bigger … Continue reading →

It is Okay to Be Unpopular

“Why can’t you just be chill?” If I had a dollar for every time one of my kids has said that to me in the past few years, I would at least be able to take a nice Alaskan cruise. The fact is, I am NOT chill and I am often rather unpopular with my decisions and parenting. But I figure if I am equally unpopular with all three of my kids than I must be doing something right… So, for those of you who have younger kids and you are used to being the hero or heroine—the best-est and … Continue reading →

What SHOULD Kids Call Their Parents & Grandparents?

I found myself in the midst of a discussion of belief systems and values the other days as a group of us discussed whether or not kids should call their parents and/or grandparents by their first names, whether “mom,” “mama” or “mommy” is best, and all sorts of versions on what are and are not appropriate monikers to exchange between parents and children. It seemed like the perfect sort of conversation to extend to all of us here… Some people have really strong feelings about whether children should or shouldn’t be able to call their parents by their first names. … Continue reading →

They Need to Believe You Know What You’re Doing

In times of transition, insecurity, or even chaos, our children need more than anything to be able to trust in us. They need to believe that we know what we’re doing and that we are capable of looking out for them and “holding down the fort.” As single parents, it is especially important that we send our kids a clear message (and remind and reiterate) that we know what we’re doing (even if we’re not entirely sure of that ourselves!) We absolutely all make mistakes and there are plenty of days when I am really just holding on and hoping … Continue reading →

What Are You an Authority On?

Have you ever read an article or an excerpt in a trade magazine or on a web site where someone was referred to as an “authority” on something? I often find that when “communications authority” or “transition authority” is added to a person’s title and other work information, I am more likely to pay attention to what they have to say. I think we can apply this principal to our own home businesses by figuring out what we are an authority on and how we can share that as part of our work. The great thing about being an “authority” … Continue reading →