Tag Archives: birth family

Birth Family and Entitlement in State Adoptions

I just wanted to touch on some thoughts I had relating to birth family, entitlement and communication. These are mostly things I wanted to get off my chest, but I hope someone who needs to hear them will have a better understanding of one adoptive mother’s perspective anyway. Allowing Contact with Birth Family Most parents I know would agree there is often a sense of loyalty within family—even within birth family. Whether or not this is true in any specific case, it’s because of this many adoptive parents are leery to allow much contact—if any, fearing some information, out of … Continue reading →

The Relationship with a Child’s Birth Family

I really can’t speak for the majority of adoptive parents when it comes to relationships with a child’s birth family. Each adoption is so unique. When we adopted through our state, we’d assumed our adoptions would be closed. When we adopted our first son, our adoption was completely closed. We had quite a time searching for birth siblings as a result. Though we know where the birth parents are, for safety reasons we have not and will not pursue openness of any degree. Thankfully because of the information we have acquired more recently from his other birth family, any questions … Continue reading →

The Shock of Adoption Secrets

We had heard about it happening in other families but were shocked to learn of it in our own. How could this happen? How did it get covered up for so long? There are so many questions that may never be answered… As we pulled up to my mother-in-law’s home for a harvest time/Halloween party, we noticed my husband’s step-mother parked in the driveway. It was our assumption at the time she might have wanted to meet her youngest grandson for the first time. We gathered the children and brought them into the house. Directing the kids to the play … Continue reading →

Meeting Birth Siblings

I’m struck with awe every time I meet a sibling of one of my boys’. When I get ready to meet one for the first time, I expect to see this strong resemblance between them and my child. Though I can usually fish for some similarities, it is so difficult to look at a child who is not a sibling by our immediate family relation and grasp that the child is related by genetics. I have been blessed to get to know both of my youngest son’s half siblings and three out of six of my older son’s birth siblings; … Continue reading →