Tag Archives: blame

Blaming the Teacher

There is a disturbing trend that is growing. Perhaps it is the absence of proper formation in high schools. Perhaps it is the increased media saturation on television and mobile devices. Perhaps it is a byproduct of the soundbite culture and a loss of the ability to pay attention or pay respect. Any one of these things (and I suspect many others left unmentioned) could contribute to a disturbing trend among young people I’m tentatively calling “blame the teacher.” In many ways this is nothing new. Talk shows have long been riddled with children blaming their parents for their own … Continue reading →

Why Make Decisions Together?

Over the last couple of blogs we’ve looked at predetermining choices for spouses and family. I’m adamant making decisions together is a far better way to go in marriage. Why? Let me give you some reasons. It’s better for your marriage. Each person feels more involved in the choices made. It strengthens your marriage and you learn to take responsibility and learn from your mistakes together. Another reason is the responsibility doesn’t rest on one person. This can be come very stressful for the person responsible for always making the decisions. Of course it also means that if the decision … Continue reading →

Double Standards and Forgiveness

Have you ever gotten mad at your spouse for doing something so dumb you just can’t believe they did it? How could they be so oblivious, or absent-minded, or short-sighted? Sadly, I have to admit I have. There’s been times Wayne’s done things, goofed something up, and I’m like, “What the heck were you thinking? You had to have seen that coming?” Oh yeah, when he goofs up I assume the superior air because no way would I have made the same mistake. But, of course, I do. Maybe not the exact same mistake, but I make plenty o’mistakes nonetheless. … Continue reading →

Are You Quick to Blame?

Blaming others, blaming God, blaming the Universe, or even blaming one child or another for something that has happened can seem like the logical immediate response. Being too quick to blame, however, can keep us from being present in the situation and able to look at things objectively. It can also be a response that actually makes things worse. How can you know if you are focusing too much on fault? A certain amount of blame—especially as an initial, emotional response can be somewhat normal. It still might not be the most productive way to respond, but it might be … Continue reading →

Is it REALLY Your Fault?

Taking the blame is one of the things that we parents do best–we tend to feel like it is our fault when our children get sick, act out, get their feelings hurt, or any myriad realities of the growing up years. I think that beating ourselves up for all the things that affect our children is one of the primary occupations of the typical parent. I think it is important, however, to stop and ask ourselves–is this really my fault? And, how much of this is my fault? Recently, I was talking with a friend of mine who has a … Continue reading →

Who’s to Blame, Me or Him?

As I was walking the other day and contemplating my loneliness and the crisis I feel I’m in, I thought about some of the reader comments I’ve received. No one in particular said anything to make me question whether perhaps I’m to blame for Wayne’s lack of attention. It just sort of popped into my head as I was thinking. I tend to believe I am. Not because I’m a Super Nagger of a wife who harps on him all the time to where he can’t breathe and doesn’t enjoy being home. It’s the flip side of that coin. I … Continue reading →

Guilty Until Proven Innocent: A Husband’s Issue with Blame

Once upon a time I wrote an article called Flaws: Sometimes It’s the Imperfections that are the Most Endearing. Sometimes they’re not. I know I have a lot of quirks that drive Wayne bananas. I blow my nose way too loud. (I’ll admit, sometimes even more obnoxiously than usual. Depends on if I’m in the mood to torment Wayne or not.) I’m very slow. (Sometimes mentally, almost always physically. I don’t like to rush. I like to take my time gathering things, be they my thoughts, my glasses, my coat…) Wayne’s got some quirks too. His tendency to say, “Whatever” … Continue reading →

Siblings Blaming Siblings

Bickering, fighting and blaming might be what you think of when you think of sibling interactions. If you have more than one child, chances are at least one of them has tried to blame the other for various things. For most of us, the blame seems to be forever shifting as siblings blame each other for all sorts of things both individually and in small collective groups. Is there anything a parent can do about the sibling blaming sibling situation? For a sibling to blame another sibling, it is often a temptation too great to resist. Even if the children … Continue reading →

Let Your Kids Know They Can Blame it on You

I remember very clearly the few times in my adolescence and growing up years that I was able to “pass the buck” on my parents and how much I appreciated it. Sure, there were plenty of times when I felt oppressed by their unjust rules and all the times I thought they didn’t understand me–but there were also those times when I was grateful to be able to say: “My parents won’t let me” or “my mom said no.” I know for a fact that my own kids have felt the same way. They have been plenty angry at times … Continue reading →

Who Can You Blame When The Ball Gets Dropped?

We often talk about all the benefits and perks of running a home-based business, but there really are some downsides as well. There are things that some of us miss by working from home—one of which is that there is no one else to blame when things go awry! When you are on your own and the ball gets dropped—who can you look to but yourself? I am not really talking blame and negative self-talk here—that doesn’t help anyone. Neither does guilt or beating ourselves up when things go wrong—but for me, knowing that I am not only “the buck … Continue reading →